


Heaven Nor Hell

by BlackUnicorn



Series: From The Cradle To The Grave [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Castiel, Archangels, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Mary Winchester, Bisexuality, Bit of Fluff, Character Death, Crowley Has a Heart, Dean needs to get his shit together, Destiel - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Heaven & Hell, Human Castiel, Hunters & Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Men of Letters, Men of Letters Bunker, Multi, POV Dean Winchester, Past Aaron Bass/Dean Winchester, Past John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Purgatory, Vessels, War, bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-11 15:26:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11151243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackUnicorn/pseuds/BlackUnicorn
Summary: The Archangels are missing and both Heaven and Hell have fallen into chaos, when two Angels appear and ask for help. Suddenly, Sam and Dean Winchster find themselves in the middle of a supernatural war and the line between friend and enemy blurs into nothingness.





	1. There’s always something

»Come on Sammy, a little backup here please! «, Dean shouted as he tried to fight off two Vampires and a Werewolf.

»Sorry but I’m a bit busy myself! «, Sam answered and Dean dared a quick glance in the direction of his brother’s voice, seeing that one of those sons of bitches had him pinned against a wall.

»Oh, just great. «, Dean muttered and rushed forward. With one smooth movement, he drove his silver dagger into the heart of the Werewolf who let out a choked scream; Dean let himself drop to the floor, dodging a hit from one of the Vamps and rolled underneath their feet. This was the part of Hunting that he loved; the fighting, the pure survival which made him feel alive. He blended out everything else and quickly got back to his feet. With instinctive precision, he threw the knife across the room, hitting the second Wolf straight in the back. From the corner of his eye, he saw movement and sped around but instead of the two Vampires, he only saw his mother. Mary Winchester, 51 – years – old, 5ft 8in of concentrated badass, covered in Vampire and Werewolf blood. Dean smiled at her and Mary immediately relaxed.

»You two alright? «, Mary asked.

»All good. «, Sam answered. They made a quick job of cleaning up; eight Vampires and five Werewolves, all penned up in an old, abandoned house deep in the woods. That alone was strange enough but what bothered Dean the most, was what they had found in the basement. The bodies on which they had fed. If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d say that they had actually shared these people but that was ridiculous; Vampires and Werewolves always avoided each other. They certainly did not help each other survive.

»Let’s go Sam. «, Mary said after everything was done. »Sam. «

But Sam didn’t move and Dean thought he knew why. There was a dull sound, like a sob; coming from somewhere in the house.

»Someone’s still here. «, Sam said eventually.

»Over there. «. Dean pointed towards a closet. It was a huge, hideous thing, the doors closed and Dean hadn’t paid any attention to it, until now. Slowly, very slowly, he moved closer, his hand shaking ever so slightly as he lay it onto the knob. He could feel Sam and Mary stand behind him, ready to defend him and themselves but there was no need. Inside the closet sat a boy, he was about five or six and crying, his knees drawn to his chest. He looked up when the door opened, his eyes wide with fear.

»Please don’t kill me. «, he said.

»Oh, my god. «, Mary’s words were hardly more than a whisper but Dean could hear them loud and clear. Dean crouched down on the floor, making sure that the saw that he had no weapons on him. »It’s okay. ‘m not gonna hurt you. «, he said calmly but that didn’t seem to help. »What’s your name? «

»Ben. «

»Okay Ben, why don’t ya come out of there? You’re safe. «

But Ben just shook his head, »Where’s my mum? Is she dead too? «

A could shudder ran down Dean’s spine. What if his mother had been one of the creatures they had just slaughtered? That would make him a Werewolf or a Vampire and that meant that they should kill him too. But could he do that? Could he kill a little boy because of something he had no choice in? Dean didn’t even have to think about it; he knew the answer. He couldn’t kill him.

He, Sam and Mary stepped back a bit, »What do we do? We can’t just leave him here. «, Sam said and Dean agreed. Ben wouldn’t survive on his own.

»Well we can’t kill him either. «

»We have to. «

»Mum! «

»What? He’s god knows what and we probably just killed his parents. «

»Do you really think you could do it? Look at him; he’s what -? Five? «

Mary bit her lips. »What else can we do? «

»We could take him with us. «, Sam suggested.

»Are you insane? Where would we take him? «

»Well I don’t know but we have to do something. «

»I’m gonna call Bobby. «, Dean finally spoke up and before any of the others could protest, he had pulled out his phone.

»Bobby? It’s me. We have a problem. «

Fortunately, Bobby agreed with them that killing the boy was not an option; instead he suggested that they’d take him to Wisconsin. _»There’s a Pack there. They don’t make trouble; keep a low profile. I’m sure they’ll got a place for the boy. «_

Dean wouldn’t even ask how Bobby knew a Pack in Wisconsin, because when it came to Bobby, everything was possible.

»Great, thanks Bobby. «

»So? What’d he say? «, Sam asked as soon as Dean had put away the phone.

»Wisconsin. «, Dean answered. »There’s a Pack, they can look after the boy. «

Sam nodded. It sounded like a good idea and maybe said Pack could give them some answers as to why they had Vampires and Werewolves teaming up and hunting humans.

They didn’t even need to convince Ben, since the boy had fallen asleep, probably because of all the fear ad exhaustion. It was a quite drive and Dean could feel Mary’s disapproval but they wouldn’t talk about it. Not now. It took them a few hours to get to the town where the Pack lived and when they got there, Bed was awake.

»Hey buddy. «, Dean smiled at the boy. »Sleep good? «

»Where are you taken me? «, Ben asked.

»Wisconsin, there are people here, just like you. «

»You mean Werewolves. «

»Yeah. «, Dean nodded.

»Why don’t you kill me? You killed my mum. «

Dean realized that both his brother and mother were looking at him expectantly because how did you explain to a child why you killed their mum? How did you make him understand that his mum was a bad person because she killed people to survive?

»Listen, kiddo. Your mum, I’m sure she was lovely, a great person. But she and her Pack, they hurt people, they killed people. And that is a bad thing. See, me an’ my brother and my mum here, we protect the humans. «

»You’re Hunters. «

»Yes. «

»But then you are not my friends. «

For some reason that hurt more than anything the boy could have said. Dean was Hunter, that was who he had been raised to be. Everything he knew how to be. And he wasn’t a bad a person, or was he?

»You don’t have be, but I would like to be your friend. You can trust me. I’m gonna help you, okay? I know you don’t understand what I did to your mum but maybe one day you will. «

»I hate you. «

Well, there was that. They all were silent again for the rest of the ride. Dean parked in the car in front of a pretty house and they all got out.

»Yes? «, a man with short blond hair opened the door.

»Hey, my name is Dean Winchester. Bobby Singer told us to come here. «

»Why? «

Dean saw how the man tensed up and it was clear why. He knew that Bobby was a Hunter, meaning Dean would be a Hunter too.

»We need your help. Or rather the boy needs your help. «, he pointed at Ben who was standing between Sam and Mary.

The man at the door looked at Ben for a long moment before stepping back, »Come in. «, he said. »My name’s David Ludensky, by the way. «

Ben, Sam and Dean entered, while Mary waited outside by the car. They sat down in the living room and an old woman with grey hair offered coffee.

»Why did Bobby sent you here? We didn’t do anything. «

»I know. That’s actually why. We – er – we’re Hunters. We were working a case in Iowa; people went missing, we got behind it and found a house were both Vampires and Werewolves were living together. They had kidnapped those people, children, mostly, fed of them. It was weird, I’ve never seen anything like it. Ben here was there too. His mother died, she was one of the Wolves. Bobby said you can keep him save. Teach him, whatever it is you folks teach each other. «

David nodded, his eyes fixed on Ben, »Okay. Ben, I have a question for you. Were you bit? «

To Dean’s surprise Ben shook his head, »My mum was when she was younger. «, the boy explained.

»That’s good. It means he has more control over himself, makes it easier to not feed of human hearts. «

Dean was relieved to hear that. For some reason, he really liked the kid and wanted him to have a good and normal life. At least as normal as life could be when you were a Werewolf.

»Thank you. «, he said and he meant it.

Surprisingly the conversation wasn’t over yet. It was Sam who asked David about the team up with the Vampires.

»I’ve heard of it. But I do not approve. The difference between us is too big and there has always been a rivalry. But…«

»But what? «

»Things are changing. «

»What does that mean? «, Dean asked confused.

 »Honestly? I don’t even know. People are scared and all I know, is that the Alphas are deeply concerned about something that happened. I don’t know what it is and I try to keep my people out of it. «

»The Alphas? «

»Yes. The oldest and strongest creatures. The first. «

»How many are there? «

»Five. They all have their residence in Chicago, leading the city. Werewolves, Vampires, Djinn, Skinwalkers and Shapeshifters. Things are bad there, the city is at the verge of a war, but I can’t tell you anything else. «

»Low profile, I get it. «, Dean nodded. This was more information than he had hoped for although it still didn’t make sense.

»Thank you. But we better get going. «, Dean said and stood up. Sam did the same and they walked towards the door.

»Listen, « Dean started. »If you ever need anything, give us a call. Bobby seems to trust you and so should we. «

It wasn’t easy for him to say that but he did see that this man wasn’t their enemy. David Ludensky thanked them and closed the door behind them.

They all got back into the car to drive home. Home meaning Bobby’s and Jody’s place but Dean still couldn’t shake the feeling that something big was about to happen.


	2. Hello, to my hallow one, with a halo

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that they got behind the strange happenings; because that was what they were. A string of strange things. Of course, it didn’t stop with the Vampire – Werewolf alliance.

Bobby told them about a group of Wendigos seen in New Mexico, which was unusual because first of all, Wendigos didn’t move in groups, that is to say, they didn’t move at all but rather hid out in one place and secondly, they preferred a much colder climate.

There were more Demonic possessions than ever before and something that wasn’t Demons, but estranged people just the same, if not more.

So, when Sam and Dean drove to Colorado to investigate in a very mysterious gang fight, they probably should have known that things were about to get nasty. However, even they could have never predicted to get caught between two groups of Demons who were determined to kill each other.

»Oh, this is bad. «, Dean muttered as soon as he spotted the bikers at the end of the alley he and Sam had been walking through. He didn’t even have to turn around to know that there were more behind them. Surprisingly though, the Demons didn’t seem to care about them. A small woman with long dark hair stepped forward, »Leave Hunters. «, she said and Dean heard laugher behind his back.

»Aren’t you a sweet one Meg. Let them stay, more fun for us. «

»They are no part in this, Ruby. Normally I’d be all with you when it comes to killing Hunters but this is between Crowley and Asmodeus. «

Dean got more and more confused as he listened to the two women talking but he decided that it was probably for the best if he kept quiet. At least for now. Unfortunately, Sam did not seem to share that thought, »Great. «, his little brother said. »We’re just…gonna go now. «

And Dean really had no other choice than following Sam. They moved towards the Demon named Meg since she seemed to have no desire of hurting them right now. There was shift in the atmosphere. It had been tense all along but something happened and although Dean couldn’t say what, he did feel it change. Hadn’t they been Hunters and good ones at that, they would most probably both be dead. Lucky for them, they were raised to react faster than any normal person and when Dean registered the movement in the corner of his eye he immediately dropped to the floor and pulled Sam with him.

The alley turned into a battlefield.

Some of the Demons just beat the crap out of each other, but others had guns and blades and Dean didn’t even know that Demons actually could be killed except by the Colt, which was with his mother but apparently, there were a lot of things he didn’t know, because these Demons dropped dead like flies. Trying to stay out of the fire line, Sam dragged Dean further into the shadows and towards the end of the alley. If they could just make it there, they would be out of danger; but no such luck. A Demon, a big, hulky man suddenly stood over them, a silvery sword like blade in his hand, eyes black and smirking malevolently. Dean cursed; he didn’t have enough experience with Demons and felt utterly unprepared for this. The man raised his blade; when Dean noticed that the fighting around them had stopped. The Demon must have noticed it too because he looked around in confusion. All over the alley lay dead meatsuits, the strange thing was that some of them looked like they had their eyes burned out of their heads. _Perfect_ , Dean thought _, now we have to worry about a pyromaniac._ Suddenly, the Demon screamed, his body started glowing from the inside, a cold, blue fire burning through him. The body dropped to the floor, eyes burned out and the only thing Dean could see were a pair of shoes standing next to him. Attached to the shoes were two legs and a body, ending in a very pretty face that looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and something else. Something foreign and strange.

»What the hell? «, he muttered and sat up, but not before he made sure that Sam was fine. His brother looked just as confused as he felt, eyes fixed on the strange man. Dean used the opportunity to take in his appearance; he was a bit smaller than him, wearing a beige trench coat and holding a silver blade in one hand. His face was stony, hard mask and his eyes deep blue. Dean was fascinated by the man.

»Who the fuck are you? «, he asked and only then realized that that was probably not the smartest thing to say. This man just killed a whole alley of Demons, he probably could take out Sam and Dean with a snap of his fingers.

»I am Castiel, an Angel of the Lord. «, the man said and that really was the last thing Dean had expected. He blinked. »I have promised your mother to protect your lives. «

»Our mother? «, Sam asked doubtfully.

»That is correct. Ten years ago, she saved me; I am in her debt and I just do my duty. «

»Right, because, that isn’t weird at all. «, Dean said. Now it was Castiel who blinked and looked a bit confused, »I do not understand what you mean. «, he said, his head tilted.

»Sarcasm, dude. «

»Of course. I am still not fully accustomed to all human behavior. «

»Huh. «, Dean didn’t really know how to respond to that, »Well, thanks for…you know…saving our asses. «

Dean glanced at Sam and saw that his brother was trying hard to suppress a grin which was not helpful at all. »I am aware that I am in no position to ask anything of you but I would require your help. «, Castiel said.

»Our help? With what exactly? «

»Some time ago,the Archangels have been taken, creating a vacuum of power in both Heaven and Hell. What you have just experienced is just the beginning of the war that is about to start. Your mother has proven to be a trustworthy and skilled woman and I have found that you two are just like her. I want you help me find my brothers. «

»Whoa – wait! Have you been watching us? «, Dean asked exasperated.

»Of course. I did what your mother has asked me to do. «

»Man, that is just creepy. «, Dean muttered.

»I think what Dean is trying to say, «, Sam interrupted, »Is, thank you, again. And of course, we will help you. «. Sam threw a pointed look at Dean.

»Er – yeah. What he said. «, Dean said, all this did seem a bit too much for him.

There was a strange sound like _whoosh,_ hardly audible, but Dean picked it up anyway, even before he registered the man that suddenly stood next to Castiel.

»Cassi, we need to go! Half our Garrison has taken Asmodeus’ side and well, the rest of it won’t be doing much of anything because Naomi killed them all and – who are you? «, the man who had appeared, obviously, an Angel as well, spoke quickly with a British accent and when he noticed Sam and Dean he looked at them very intently.

»Balthazar, this are Dean and Sam Winchester. «, Castiel introduced them.

»Right your human obsession; well, at least they’re handsome. «

Dean actually choked a bit at those words but there was no time to protest because Balthazar started talking again and this time he seemed outright hysterical, »We really need to leave, Castiel. Naomi is furious because we weren’t there when she declared war on the other Angels and I do not want to be there to find out what she will do if she finds us. «

»You are right. «, Castiel said before turning towards Dean again, »I will see you again. «, he declared and then he was gone with nothing but the sound of fluttering wings.

»That was weird. «, Sam muttered.

»Yeah, tell me about it. «

* * *

On their way back to South Dakota, they made a stop at the Harvelle’s Roadhouse. They hadn’t seen Ellen, Bill and Jo in quite a while and Dean really missed Ellen’s homemade pie. Unfortunately, Ellen didn’t seem to be in the mood for making pie when they got there.

»Oh, so you two are still alive then! «, she snapped and banged two bottles of beer in front of them. Bill gave them an apologetic look. »What’s crawled up her ass and died? «, Dean asked in a hushed voice.

»Jo. «, Bill just whispered back and Dean didn’t even need another explanation. Jo was a great girl but she was also reckless, impulsive and stubborn. The perfect match to her mother. The door of the Roadhouse opened again and suddenly everyone turned silent. »Speak of the Devil. «, William muttered and that was the moment in which Ellen saw her daughter too. In other families, it might have been concerning to see a mother pointing a shotgun at her own daughter, however, when it came from Ellen it was rather common and Dean had found himself more than once in the position of the receiving end of Ellen’s anger.

»Joanna Beth Harvelle! How dare you leave for days without even telling me?  «, Ellen all but yelled. »I told you I don’t want you to go Hunting by yourself! «

»What the hell, mum? I wasn’t even Hunting. «, Jo defended herself.

»Where were you then? Four days! I tried to call you a hundred times. «

»I was with a friend and my phone died. «

»A friend? What friend? «

»You know, if you actually listened to me and actually knew me, you wouldn’t even have to ask. «, Jo replied and stomped off behind the bar and up the stairs. Ellen watched her as she left, breathing heavily.

»Leave her, El. She’ll calm down eventually. «, Bill said but as soon as Ellen glared at him he shut his mouth and went back to his beer.

»Wow, when’d this place turn into a madhouse? «, Dean muttered. He loved the Harvelles, he really did. They were family and Jo was like a sister to him. They had gone on a few Hunts with her, always behind Ellen’s back, since she tried everything to keep Jo out of the ‘business’, but Dean was actually proud. Jo was strong and clever and she didn’t take shit from anyone; not even Ellen. However, Dean was almost glad when he and Sam left the Roadhouse and five hours later, they were back home. Home meant Bobby’s Salvage Yard since the day John had left, or had been made to leave. Either way, Dean was much happier living like this. Bobby and Jody were the ones who had pretty much raised him anyway whenever Mary had gone Hunting and there was Adam too. At first, Dean had had a problem with his half-brother but now, ten years later, it was impossible to imagine life without him. Adam was refreshingly different. He had no desire in becoming a Hunter, or having a part in their Supernatural life in any way and that was okay. That was good. It meant that Adam would grow old and grey, have a boring, ordinary life and hopefully many kids he could love. For Dean, it was too late to even consider that option.

»Hey mum, how did that job in Montana go? «, Dean asked his mother as soon as he entered the living room.

»Simple Salt’n’Burn. «, Mary answered without even looking up from her Journal. »Colorado? «

»A bit more complicated than that. «, Dean said. He and Sam had agreed that they would tell the others everything and then hope that Castiel would seek them out again soon so he could tell them more. Dean’s words did make his mother look up, »What happened? «, she asked, a distinct wrinkle showing between her eyes.

»Tell you later. I’m dying for a shower. «

* * *

The shower did indeed work wonders. Dean felt awake and alive while the water crackled down on him and when he came out he was actually relaxed. So relaxed that he didn’t hear the flutter of wings, neither did he feel the breeze going through the bathroom.

»Son of a – Cas!? «, Dean cried out after turning around and finding himself face to face with the Angel.

»My apologies, Dean. «, Cas said but he didn’t step away.

»Do you mind? I’m naked. «, Dean pointed out. He felt a bit uncomfortable, that is to say, very uncomfortable to the point of being flustered. However, actually saying it might not have been the best option because now Castiel _looked._ Dean was by no means shy about his body; he knew that he was attractive. He usually enjoyed it when people looked at him; admired him but this…this was different. Castile with his blank face and those _eyes._ Those fucking blue eyes, staring at him. It made Dean feel oddly self – conscious. _Get a fucking grip, Winchester._ He told himself and swallowed his conflicted feelings down, pretending like there wasn’t an Angel in the room, watching him get dressed. »How’d you find me anyway? «, he asked, just to distract Castiel and himself.

»I am an Angel, I can find any person unless they are hidden from me. «

»Right. Of course. How exactly does that work? «

»There are certain means to protect oneself from Angels. «, Cas answered. »Do you wish not to be found? «

»Well, I certainly don’t wish that you guys can just pop up whenever you want and your Angel buddy Balthazar did say that you’ve got pissed of brothers and sisters. If I can avoid meeting them, by all means yes, I wish not to be found. «, Dean muttered.

»Balthazar and I will show you and your family how you can shield yourselves. «

»Thanks, man. «, Dean said while opening the door. He had done it automatically, without even thinking about the fact that there was another person in the room and of course right in that moment, Mary passed the bathroom. »Dean? «, she asked confused, her eyes fixed on Castiel.

»Oh shit, mum, this is Castiel. He’s an Angel. «, he said, thoroughly aware of how ridiculous that sounded.

»Castiel? «, of course. Mary knew him. Dean had totally forgotten about that. »You look different. «, his mother stated.

»This is another body than the one I used in the past. «, Castiel explained.

»What – I don’t understand. «, Mary said.

»Yeah, remember how I said I’d tell you later? I guess later is now. «

They all sat down in the living room and Dean saw that Balthazar was there too; he was just glad that he hadn’t been in the bathroom as well.

»What’s going on? «, Bobby demanded to know. His eyes jumped from Castiel to Balthazar and back; suspiciously and not exactly friendly. Surprisingly, explaining what had happened in Colorado was easy. Sam helped him whenever he let out some details and in the end, they gave a short and precise report on the fight between the Demons and how Castiel had saved their lives.

»Well I s’pose you deserve a thank you then. «, Bobby said, sounding much more relaxed than before.

»I merely did my duty. «, Castiel replied.

»Can you tell us what’s going on? I mean you said that the Archangels are gone, whatever that means but that Demon chick Meg said something about Crowley and Asmodeus? Who are they? «

»Three of the four Archangels, Michael, Raphael and Gabriel were in charge in of Heaven while the fourth, Lucifer, was the true leader of Hell. Now they are gone and both, Demons and Angels, fight for that leadership. Crowley and Asmodeus are just two of the three Demons, claiming the ‘Throne of Hell’ «, Castiel explained. It was funny seeing an Angel use air quotes and if the matter hadn’t been so serious, Dean would have laughed.

»Okay, but who are they? «, Sam wanted to know.

»Lucifer wasn’t the only Angel who was cast out of Heaven after Lucifer’s rebellion. There were two others. Asmodeus and Beelzebub, who sometimes goes by the name Bael. They are powerful Angels who have been corrupted. Symbols for Lust and Gluttony. Crowley is a Demon; he is in charge of the Crossroad Deals; he calls himself the ‘King of the Crossroads’ and he, too, wants to rule Hell for himself. «

»What about Heaven? «, Adam asked and Dean was surprised that he took interest in all this. What was more surprising, was that it was Balthazar who answered.

»Heaven’s far more complicated than that. «, he said. »It’s bloody civil war up there but from what I’ve gathered the two leading parties are our Garrison, which has been taken over by Naomi; she and Asmodeus had a little something back in he day, I guess that’s why she supports him and on the other side there’s Metatron. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just backs Beelzebub so he can antagonize Naomi; he’s strange like that. «

»And what about you? Who do you support? «, Bobby asked.

»We just want to find our brethren and put an end to the fighting before it gets carried out on earth any more than is already happening. «, Cas answered. He didn’t seem to mind Booby’s suspicion all that much. 

»Seriously though, what d’you want us to do about that? «, Dean asked.

»We were hoping for you to help us find the Archangels. They are neither in Heaven nor Hell which leaves the only possibility to be Earth. «, Castiel said.

»Can’t you find them? You told me you can find any person. «

»That would be true if my brothers were people. They are Angels and they are hidden from my sight. «

Jody just opened her mouth to say something when one of Bobby’s phones rang. There were several landlines going to the house since Bobby was known to help Hunters all over the country, however this one was Bobby’s personal phone which was odd; not many people had that number.

»Yes? «, Bobby answered it. Dean watched the other man while he listened and the news he got must have been bad because he saw a trace of shock in Bobby’s eyes.

»Well what are ya waitin’ for? Get ‘em out of there! «, he barked into the phone and hang up. »Idjits! «

»What happened? «

»Ellen. The Roadhouse was attacked. «

Jody gasped and Dean felt a cold shudder running down his spine.

»Are they okay? «

»Those who survived. «

»Oh my god. Did she say who it was? «

»Demons. «


	3. Losing Touch

As it turned out ‘those who survived’ were almost everyone since there hadn’t been many people at the Roadhouse. Ellen, Bill, Jo, a Hunter named Lee Chambers and his daughter Krissy arrived a few hours later, telling them that the Roadhouse had burned to the ground. Ellen was devastated and seeing her like this, crying and barely responsive was one of the worst things Dean had ever seen because Ellen Harvelle was made of steel. She was fierce and strong and never backed down. Yet there she was, breaking apart in front of their eyes.

While they had waited, Castiel and Balthazar had helped them to make the house Angel and Demon proof.

»Ellen’s asleep now. «, Jody told them after she came back downstairs. »Did they say anything? The Demons? «, she asked Bill.

»Something about an alliance and that they needed more souls. «

»Of course. Souls are power; they provide the soldiers for Heaven and Hell. «, Castiel said matter of factly. »That must mean they are getting ready for battle. «

»I’m sorry, who are you again? «, Bill asked aggressively.

»My name is Castiel, I am an Angel of the Lord. This is my brother Balthazar. «

Again, they explained everything that had happened; surprisingly Jo already seemed to have known all that.

»Asmodeus and Beelzebub are conspiring against Crowley. They both want the throne to themselves, but they also don’t want to see it in Crowley’s hands; typical ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ – kind of situation. «, the young woman said. Only then, she noticed that everyone was staring at her. »What? «

»How do you know all that? «, Sam asked, his brows furrowed.

»My friend told me. «

»The same friend you spend the four days with? «, Dean asked with a smirk and judging by Jo’s death glare he must have been right. Jo was actually blushing slightly and Dean had to try really hard not to laugh, he really did not want the wrath of Joanna Harvelle directed at him.

»What you say does make sense. Asmodeus and Beelzebub used to be Angels and they share a history of trust and companionship. Crowley on the other hand is a Demon and a very cunning one. «, the way Castiel spoke was analytic and sober, like he was merely stating facts and not talking about an oncoming war which was very much concerning him. Or should concern him.

»How can you be so calm about this? «

»I am a Soldier of Heaven, Dean. There is no reason for me not to be calm. «

»Right. «

Dean and Cas continued to stare at each other and although It made Dean feel exposed and vulnerable in ways he had never known, he refused to look away. At some point, Bobby cleared his throat very notably and said loudly, »It’s getting late and you people need to get out of my living room. «, he huffed. Dean agreed. He was beginning to feel tired, which probably shouldn’t be a surprise. It had been a long day.

* * *

Dean woke up with the distinct feeling of being watched. As always, he had his hand underneath his pillow, safely closed around his gun and without even thinking about it he pulled it out as he quickly sat up, pointing the barrel at the person sitting next to his bed.

»Son of a bitch! I could have shot you, Cas. «, Dean cursed, when he recognized the Angel.

»You would have done me no harm. «, Castiel simply replied. His eyes didn’t leave Dean, he just kept staring, intently, unblinkingly.

»Why were you watching me? It’s creepy. «

»I have been watching over you for years, Dean. I am merely concerned for your safety. «

»Yeah well don’t bother. I can look after myself. «, Dean muttered. The thought of Castiel actually watching over him made him feel uneasy und a bit embarrassed; but then again, Cas had said that he had merely done his duty.  

»I did never doubt that. «, Cas answered.

When they went downstairs everyone else was awake already, talking in hushed voices, but Deans attention was on his mother.

»No, I told you I don’t want you to come. We are all fine. «. She was talking on the phone, her voice annoyed and angry. »You don’t get to do this, John. You can’t just pop up into our lives whenever it suits you! You were gone for eight years. Eight years, John. As far as I knew, you could have been dead and I’m not even sure if I would care anymore. But unlike you, I’m not just thinking about myself. You have three sons who love you and you should have at least the decency to call them once in a while. «

Dean swallowed. He remembered the day John had suddenly turned up on their doorstep eight years ago; stayed for a few weeks before going to Maine for a job. After that they hadn’t heard a word from him. Until now, apparently.

»Goodbye, John. «. Mary’s frustration was obvious, as she put the phone away.

»You okay? «, he asked.

»I’m fine. «, his mother answered, putting on a smile but Dean could see behind the facade. She was not fine.

»He’s a dick. «

»He’s your father Dean. «

»He hasn’t been my father since the day Henry died. «. Dean said and only now he realised how true that was. When he was younger, all he had wanted was to please John, make him proud; except that that was impossible. Dean would never be good enough but for once he felt like that was okay. He didn’t need his father. He had his family right here, by his side.

»Why’d he call, anyway? «, he asked; mostly to change the subject.

»He heard about the Roadhouse and apparently, there have been more attacks. He wanted to make sure if we’re okay. Said he wanted to come home. «

Dean snorted. Home. His home was here, with Bobby and Jody. With his mum and his brothers. With his family. John wasn’t exactly a part of that anymore.

»Did you say there were more attacks? «, Jo asked, who must have been listening to their conversation.

»Yes. «, Mary confirmed. »He didn’t know much else, though. «

»We must find our brothers before even more humans come to lose their life. «, Cas said.

»Ah yes, that’s my brother. Always looking out for humanity. «, Balthazar teased. I was strange how different these two Angels were. Castiel seemed to have only little understanding about social interaction, whereas Balthazar seemed like a normal person. If Dean didn’t know he was an Angel, he would have never guessed that there was something supernatural about him.

»You are saying that like it is a bad thing. Our father gave us a mission; to love and to protect human kind. I am merely doing my duty. «

»Dad doesn’t care, Cassi. He proved that more than once. «

»I refuse to believe that. He did not give up on us. «, Castiel’s eyes were cold and merciless on Balthazar, his expression hard and for a moment, Dean thought he saw something shining through his human disguise. A flash of power and gracefulness. The moment was gone, before Dean could actually be sure about what he saw. Now Castiel was just a stoical man that stood a little too straight, with eyes that were a little too blue to be natural.

It was Bobby who broke the silence, »While you two idjits had your little tiff, I made a few calls to find out what the hell is going on. It ain’t Demons behind the other attacks. Rufus said ‘t was Hellhounds. «

»Hellhounds? «, Sam asked in disbelief. They had only encountered the servants of Hell once and Dean had to admit that they made him very uncomfortable. Something you couldn’t see or hear unless it was there to kill you was high up on his list of things he wanted to avoid. »What does that mean? «

»It means that Crowley is desperate enough to break his word. «, Castiel answered.

»Speak in riddles, Cas. Why don’t ya? «, Dean snapped.

»What Castiel is saying, is that Crowley is the one who holds the contract of every Crossroad Deal and it seems that now, he is collecting his souls early which breaks his word. «, Balthazar explained. There was a thudding sound. Lee Chambers stood with his back against the wall, his face pale and his hands shaking. To his feet lay a book which he had held just seconds ago.

»Dad? «, Krissy asked concerned. »Are you alright? «

Lee blinked a few times, before nodding. »Yes. Yes, I’m fine. Sorry. «, his voice was hoarse and Dean could hear the fear that he seemed to be trying to supress. Hastily, Lee turned around and left the house. Everyone else exchanged questioning looks but it was obvious that no one knew what was going on. Bill was the first to speak up; »I’ll talk to him. «, he muttered and followed the other Hunter outside.

Dean kept staring at the door for a moment longer until the there was another phone call. Again, it was Mary’s phone, »Hey dad. «, she said. Dean frowned. He didn’t really like Samuel Campbell; he was too much like John. Old – fashioned, strict and no inhibitions of using violence against other people. »No, we’re alright. I promise. Where are you? «, she asked. »You should come here; it’s safer. «. Dean groaned internally. »I’ll explain when you get here. Please, dad. «

Apparently, she had convinced her father to come to South Dakota because she smiled relieved when she ended the call. Sam, too, seemed to be looking forward to see his grandfather again, and Dean really didn’t want to spoil that for him, however, the last time he had seen Samuel Campbell it hadn’t exactly ended well. His grandfather really did know how to make someone feel like shit.

* * *

It wasn’t until the late afternoon that Lee and Bill came back. Lee was still pale but seemed a bit more collected. He immediately took Krissy aside to talk to her quietly while Bill explained the situation to the rest of them.

»Listen up everyone; this is a pretty messed up situation. «, he said. »Lee fucked up. Sort of. Last year, Krissy was sick, like brink of death – sick. He summoned a Demon to save her, the Demon did but now that Crowley is collecting early it seems that his ten years have been cut short to one. «

Dean swallowed. He imagined being in Lee’s place; what if Sam would be about to die? Would he go as far as making a deal with a Demon? _Yes, I would_ , he immediately answered himself. _I would do anything to save Sammy’s life._ He thought of Krissy. She was only nine years old and already tougher than any girl her age should be.

»There anything we can do? «, Jo asked. Dean was pretty sure that she had never met a Hellhound before. It was useless; you couldn’t fight them. If a Hellhound wanted to rip you apart, it would. Ellen seemed to agree with him on that. »Jo, there’s nothing we can do. They’ll be here by nightfall and we should try to be somewhere else. «

It sounded harsh but Dean knew it was the truth. They shouldn’t be there when the Hellhounds came for Lee.

As expected, dinner was a very quiet affair. Krissy didn’t eat at all, just stared at the plate in front of her with empty eyes. Lee had asked them to go into the panic room in the basement, so he could be alone in his last moment. It was hard for Dean to let this man walk to his death because although he didn’t really know Lee, they were both Hunters which made him a part of the family and you did not let family die that easily.

»Can’t you do something? «, he asked Castiel just as they had closed the door of the panic room.

»I could kill the Hellhounds, yes, but that wouldn’t help Lee. They would come again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and every day for the rest of his life. Lee would always have to be on the run. Is that a life you would wish for him? For his daughter? «, Castiel answered and the worst thing was that Dean knew he was right. Killing the Hellhounds wouldn’t be a solution, they would have to make Crowley lift the contract and he knew that that would not happen.


	4. Towards Dead Ends

When Dean woke up, he was half sitting, half lying on the floor, propped up against the wall. Again, he could feel Castiel watching him but this time he knew better than to say anything about it. Besides, he could think of better things to do than to wake up everyone and draw attention to himself and Cas. Instead, he was content with simply staring back. Cas didn’t seem surprised to see him awake and the Angel didn’t look away, neither did he pretend like he hadn’t been watching; he only tilted his head slightly when Dean met his gaze. A silent question. Dean answered by tilting his head in the other direction. They stayed like this until Dean could hear someone stirring; Sam was awake too. Silently, Dean and his little brother left the panic room to go upstairs. The front door was wide open and Lee’s body lay on the floor, his clothes soaked in blood but there was no sign of a struggle anywhere in the room. Lee had accepted his fate and Dean wasn’t sure if that was bravery or cowardice; not that it mattered because Lee was dead either way but he still wondered. »Come on, then. «, he said to Sam after a moment. »Let’s get him outside and clean him up. Krissy doesn’t have to see him like this. «.

The traditional Hunter funeral was burning the body, so that’s what they did after everything was done. Dean, Sam, Adam, Mary, Bobby, Jody, Ellen, Bill, Jo, Krissy and the two Angels, all stood in front of the pyre and watched the flames burn down. It was an odd feeling and Dean was relieved when they were done. The rest of the day was spent mostly sitting around, drinking beer and talking in hushed voices. Jody had already taken over the job of looking after Krissy and Jo had vanished to somewhere, although Dean was pretty sure that he was the only one who had notices thus far because Ellen hadn’t had a freak out yet.

Dean didn’t really feel like socializing; he rather kept to himself, sipping his beer and watching the others. Cas and Balthazar had left right after the cremation but Dean couldn’t stop thinking about them. About Cas. There was something about him. It was Sam that dragged him out of his thoughts.

»You okay? «, he asked.

»Sure, Sammy. Why wouldn’t I be? «, Dean muttered.

»You don’t like losing people. «, Sam simply answered and again Dean thought that his little brother knew him way too well.

But instead of giving an honest response, Dean preferred to stick to his usual sarcastic comments. »Kind of comes with the job description, doesn’t it? «. It was easier that way.

»Sure does. «, Sam said. »But you’re still allowed to have feelings about it. «

»Yeah well, I haven’t, so stop it with the chick – flick moments. «, Dean groaned annoyed and fled the room. The air outside was warm, the sky clear from clouds. Taking a deep breath, Dean lay down on the hood of an old car and starred upwards at the starry sky. He shouldn’t have snapped at Sam like that; his little brother just wanted to make sure he was alright because that’s what Sam did. Dean had been the one looking after him almost his whole life and now Sam wanted to return the favour. The thing was, though, that it wasn’t easy for Dean to let go of the role of the big brother. The protector.

Suddenly, the quiet of the night was disturbed by the sound of an engine. Dean saw the headlights of a car, parking in front of Bobby’s house. Quickly, Dean let himself slide down from the hood and drew his gun, slowly nearing the car. Two men got out, their figures seeming strangely familiar to Dean.

»Thank you for the ride, Samuel. I appreciate it. «, the first man said and Dean stopped dead in his tracks.

»I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Mary. «, the other man huffed, his voice rough and strained.

Dean lowered his weapon a bit and caught himself standing up straighter than before.

»Dad? Samuel? «, he asked loudly. The two men stopped and looked at him. »Dean! «, John called out and approached his eldest son as it he was going to hug him but then thought better of it and simply held out his hand.

»I thought mum told you not to come. «. Dean couldn’t help it. He knew he was being disrespectful and John would be angry with him but Mary had said that he should stay away.

»I couldn’t leave you here alone with all that’s happening. «, John answered.

»Not like you ever had a problem with that before. «. Samuel muttered.

»Excuse me? «, John lowered his voice and stepped closer to Samuel as if he wanted to threated him which was ridiculous; Samuel was much taller than John and although he was getting old, he still knew how to fight and had years more of experience than John had. Fortunately, Bobby had picked that exact moment to go outside. »What’s goin’ on out here? «, he asked; shotgun ready to fire.

»Bobby! «, John called out. Dean could see Bobby’s expression change; from grim and suspicious, over slightly confused to completely blank. Just like everyone else Bobby wasn’t exactly keen on seeing John again. The two men had known each other for a long time and Dean understood that there was a lot of history between them but he also knew that John had pulled a few heavy stunts on him over the years and cheating on Mary had just been the top of it all.

»Hello, John. «, Bobby said stiffly. »Samuel. «. The tension between the three men was almost tangible and Dean felt extremely out of place. He cleared his throat and walked past Bobby back into the house. As expected, everyone was curious who would visit that late at night and, also as expected, no one was really excited to hear that it was John and Samuel. It didn’t take long for Bobby, John and Samuel to come back inside and once they did, an awkward silence spread among them. From the corner of his eyes, Dean saw Jo sneaking back in as well but no one else payed any attention to her.

»So. «, Bill finally spoke up. »Where’ve you been John? «

John shrugged, »Around. «, he muttered. »Did a couple o’ jobs at the east coast mostly. « If Dean didn’t know better, he would say that his father looked embarrassed. He didn’t meet anyone’s eyes and kept his voice low, as if not to draw anyone’s attention to him; which was useless since he already had that since the moment he had walked it. And anyway, John Winchester did not do uncomfortable. He was a man with pride and honour. Someone who was used to barking orders. Someone who did not need excuses. Except now he looked more like a beaten dog.

»Someone’s gonna tell me what the hell is going on? «. Samuel asked in a commanding voice. He was exactly like Dean remembered him. Strict and demanding; very much like John except Samuel never lost control. Telling his grandfather took much longer than Dean had expected because Samuel was a naturally suspicious man and at first, he didn’t fully believe what they told him. »Angels? «, he asked in utter disbelief. »That’s nonsense. «. But the longer they talked the more serious Samuel got and eventually he had an almost grave look on his face. »But if that’s true, we need to get ready. I don’t trust a couple of Angels to save us; we need to do that ourselves. «, he proclaimed.

»But how? «, Sam asked.

»The Men of Letters will help us. «, Samuel said confidently. Dean was surprised because Samuel had never thought much of the secret organization, but rather laughed at them for being lazy, useless bookworms with no courage.

»How can you be so sure? «, Dean asked before he could stop himself.

»They won’t have a choice. If Angels and Demons are teaming up against us we have to defend ourselves. «

And with that, the old man turned around, making it clear, that for him, the matter was closed.


	5. Of all these yesterdays

They arrived in the early morning at the Bunker of the Men of Letters. Sam had slept though most of the journey and Dean too found it hard to keep his eyes on the road. In the back of the Impala were his mother and Adam, talking quietly about who knows what.

The Leaders of the Men of Letters already awaited them; Isaac Bass, Josie Sands, Larry Ganem and Edward Durban II, the eldest members, stood at the front door, side by side watching them as they got out of their cars. There were others as well. Dean recognized Aaron Bass, the grandson of Isaac, Edward’s granddaughter Eileen and a young woman whom he thought was named Charlie. To his surprise, Jo rushed towards the red-haired woman and fell into her arms; although he was certainly the only one to notice, since everyone else looked at Larry; the oldest member of the Men of Letters.

»I was wondering when you would come. «, he announced. »Please, enter. «

They all followed the Men of Letters into the Bunker and Dean was surprised to find it unusually crowded. People he had never seen before were sitting at the tables; some debating heavily, others whispering to each other. However, there were also people he did now; people he did certainly not expect to see there.

David Ludensky and Ben were sitting with a young man with short, dark hair and a pretty woman. There was Lenore, a Vampire whom he and Sam had met some time ago, talking to a broad man with a beard, on his lap, a woman.

»What is all this? «, Sam whispered into his ear and Dean could only shrug. That was something he’d like to know as well.

It was Bobby who spoke up first. »Larry, what’s going on? «, he asked his old friend.

»We decided that it is time to make a stand against the Demons. Most of the Angels have sided with either Asmodeus or Beelzebub, the Djinn and the Witches support Asmodeus. The Skinwalkers and Wraiths, Beelzebub. I have sent messages to Chicago and three of the five Alphas have answered and come here. «, Larry pointed towards the three tables in the back. »Inias, the Alpha Vampire, Alex, the First of the Shapeshifters and Lycaon, the Alpha Werewolf. «

Dean looked the three strangers over one by one, trying to decide whether Larry was a genius or a mad man. Inias was a tall man with dark skin and mesmerising eyes, he sat next to Lenore, intimidating and still. Alex seemed much less impressive; she was tall, with black hair and a scar covering half of her face, although Dean supposed that that was just the appearance she had chosen to take on for the day. Lycaon, a bearded man with tattoos covering every inch of skin, actually looked like the friendliest one of the three. He was saying something to Ben and the boy giggled, his eyes gleaming. Next to Dean, he could see both Samuel and John scowl but neither of them spoke up which was probably a wise choice.

* * *

It was a few hours later that Dean finally managed to get out of the War Room, as he called it. Outside, the rain was falling heavily but Dean didn’t really care; this whole thing was madness. Allying with Vampires and Werewolves to defy three of the most powerful Demons plus the entity of Heaven seemed like a suicide mission. He walked through the rain to an old shed in the woods. It stilled looked the same as it had years ago. The windows were broken and covered with sheets, the bed looked like it would crash under the slightest weight and on the table were dusted cups and empty beer bottles.

»I thought I might find you here. «, Dean jumped at the voice behind his back. Aaron Bass stood in the doorway, looking smug like he usually did. »You always did like this place. «. He took a drag from the joint in his hand.

»Aaron, what are you doing here? «

»I could ask you the same thing. Everyone seemed to be having so much fun back in the Bunker. «, Aaron’s voice reeked of sarcasm and he slowly stepped closer to Dean.

»You don’t really think it’s gonna work, do you? It’s madness. «

»More madness than risking your life every day in the fight against the Supernatural? «, Aaron asked. Dean could hear the bitterness in the other man’s voice.

»This is different, though. «, Dean muttered.

»Maybe. «, Aaron nodded. »I haven’t seen you in a while. You look good. «, Aaron suddenly said and Dean could feel himself blushing.

»Aaron- «

»I know, I know. That was years ago, you’re a different man now. «, there was a trace of sadness in his eyes.

»I am. «, Dean confirmed.

»Still, you could just take the compliment. «

»Thanks. «, Dean muttered, trying to avoid Aarons eyes. They hadn’t seen each other for almost eight years now and Dean felt suddenly very self – conscious and guilty.

»You’re welcome. «, Aaron replied and turned around to leave.

»Aaron - «, Dean called out. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he felt like he needed to say something. »I’m sorry. «. The words came out before he could even register them but he knew they were true. Aaron didn’t turn around, but he did stop in his tracks for a moment. »Me too. «, he whispered before leaving for good.

Eight years.

* * *

_Dean was 18, Aaron 17._

_Dean had gone to the Men of Letters for information on a case and they had quickly formed a sort of friendship, except, Aaron had never made a secret out of it, that he was interested in far more than that and Dean, well Dean was a little freaked out when he noticed that guys weren’t all that repelling as he had thought._

_It was only one summer; one summer of excitement and, in loss for a better word, happiness. It was the closest he had gotten to happiness yet. They only always met in secret in the old shed in the woods, talking and kissing and fucking and although they knew that it wouldn’t last, that it couldn’t, the way it ended eventually was too much. It was the summer John returned, or rather showed up on Bobby’s doorstep, completely drunk. Mary was Hunting a Rugaru and Montana and Sam spent his days at Bobby’s together with Adam and Jo._

_Aaron and Dean lay on the bed, barely dressed, lazily making out when Dean’s phone rang. It was Bobby._

_»Hey Bobby, what’s up? «_

_»You better get your lazy ass home. Your dad’s here. «, Bobby huffed. Dean needed a moment to process that information; he hadn’t seen his father in two years and – he was suddenly very aware about where he was and with_ who _he was and he remembered distantly the disgust in dad’s voice whenever he talked about ‘the queers’ and now Dean was one of them and –_

_»You still there, boy or did ya fall asleep? «, Bobby interrupted his train of thoughts._

_»No, no I’m here, I’m – I’m on my way. «, Dean stammered. He felt cold and sick and he saw the concern in Aaron’s eyes. »Everything okay? «, the younger boy asked as soon as Dean had ended the call._

_»Yeah sure, everything’s peachy. «, Dean answered. He really wasn’t in the mood to explain and he also didn’t think he could deal with this right now but Aaron didn’t know that and how could he. In all the hours they had spent together, Dean had never, not once, mentioned his father. »Dean. «, Aaron said softly, his hand reaching out._

_»Don’t. «, Dean warned him, he tried to move away while simultaneously putting his clothes back on and Aaron still didn’t seem to get the message, because now there was a hand on his shoulder and Dean could feel something inside him snap. The fist connecting with Aaron’s chin was a surprise do both Aaron and Dean but Dean couldn’t deal with that either. »I said don’t. «, his voice was cold as ice and he could see Aaron flinching and it hurt. But it was also better this way. »I need to go. «._

_Dean fled the shed and raced back to South Dakota and when he finally arrived at Bobby’s house he found his father sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him, his face was impossible to read and that was never a good sign. Dean cursed himself for not being more careful; he knew exactly what John saw. His hair was dishevelled, his clothes rumpled and there were probably very visible hickeys on his neck; not to mention the smell. Beer and cigarettes and_ Aaron _all over him._

_»Dad. «, he said weakly, cringing at himself. Without a word, John got up from the sofa, approaching Dean very slowly and he wanted to back away, wanted to run and hide because the cold expression in his father’s eyes said everything. He knew. Somehow, he knew. It wasn’t even a surprise when John’s hand darted forward, the slapping sound against his face echoing through the room and Dean just took it like he deserved it and maybe he did. And then his father left, leaving Dean alone with a burning, red cheek and a sinking sense of shame._

* * *

Dean’s thoughts wandered further and further away from the memory; he saw nameless men in dirty backyards and even dirtier bathroom stalls. He saw Rhonda Hurley and Cassie Robinson and other women whose faces he had forgotten, and he saw Cas. Standing tall and proud over him in a dirty alley in Colorado and he wished he was here.

»Dean. «

For the second time now, Dean startled and sped around. Cas stood behind him, in front of the bed, looking serious.

»Fucking Hell, Cas! What are you doing here? «

»You wanted me to come. «. His statement sounded so casual, like it was a given that, of course, Castiel, Angel of the Lord would come immediately when Dean wanted him to. How Cas could tell that Dean had been thinking of him, was a mystery but maybe that was just an Angel – thing to do. So, Dean pressed out a »Right. «, while nodding his head. He was a bit confused and a lot frustrated although he couldn’t quite say why. »Right. «, he said again, gathering his thoughts. »I should go back – _we_ , should go back. «

Without even waiting for Cas’ answer, he walked out of the door but he knew that the Angel would follow him. They walked quietly, never leaving each other’s side and Dean had to admit that Castiel’s presence made him feel calm and safe.

»There you are! «, Sam called out as soon as they stepped back into the War Room. It was much emptier now and Dean noticed that the people still left seemed to be having actual, serious conversations.

»Who’s this? «, John’s huffy voice sounded from somewhere behind Dean and then his father was suddenly beside him, scowling at the Angel.

»Dad, this Castiel. He’s one of the Angels. «. Dean explained but of course, that wasn’t the right answer because now John really began glaring daggers, only interrupted by the occasional suspicious glance towards Dean. The tension was broken when several things happened at once.

One of the Werewolves, Julian, he remembered and the Shapeshifter David started a rather brutal fight (»Don’t you ever touch my sister again! «); Jo stormed out of nowhere, dragging Charlie behind her, closely followed by Ellen (»Do not walk out on me, Joanna! «. »What ya gonna do? Ground me? I’m 20 years old, mum! Stop telling me what to do! «), and Balthazar appeared in the middle of the room, covered in blood.

»Balthazar! What happened? «, Castiel asked, he sounded frightened, something that definitely unsettled Dean because Cas was a fricking Angel for God’s sake.

»Anna’s dead. «, Balthazar said in a flat voice. »Our brothers and sister are slaughtering each other, Castiel. We need to do something. «

He could see Castiel and Sam exchanging looks, »Don’t worry about that. «, Cas said. »There is something you need to know. «


	6. What’s wrong with a little destruction?

As it turned out, that ‘something’ that they needed to know, was that Cas had sought out Crowley and asked for his help.

»What the fuck, Cas?! «, Dean cried out when the Angel had ended explaining. »You can’t just run around making deals with Demons. «

They, that is Sam, Dean and Cas, stood in the hallway of the Bunker, making sure that the others couldn’t overhear the conversation.

»As you will learn, Dean, I can. «, Castiel replied. »However, _you_ , cannot tell me what to do. «, there was something cold in the way he said it, reminding Dean that he was talking to an actual Angel.

»Yeah, well, I can damn well try. «, Dean said angrily. »You’re the one who asked for our help in the first place. «

»Precisely. And I can decide that you are unfit for the task just as easily. Do not make the mistake to underestimate me. «

»That’s _not_ what I’m doing. «, Dean was feeling desperate and frustrated. »All I’m saying is, that we can’t trust a Demon. «

»I don’t trust him; however, I do trust that he will not break his word to an Angel of the Lord. « and the worst part was, that Dean could not argue with that. He might not have much experience with Demons but he did know that their self – preservation instincts was bigger than anything else and pissing of an Angel was a save way to end your unnatural life.

»Fine. «, Dean gritted his teeth because this was anything but fine. »Fine. What’d he say? He going to help us? «

There was a moment in which Castiel seemed to be considering his choice of words. »He’s not going not help us. «, he said eventually. Naturally, that did nothing to calm Dean down.

»Great! That sounds promising. «, Castiel looked at him, apparent confusion in his eyes by the use of sarcasm but he didn’t ask what Dean meant.

»Crowley is not stupid. He knows that he can’t win without allies at his side and it is better for us if he works with us than against us. It’s a simple strategy. «

»Well I don’t like this strategy. «

»And you don’t have to. It is done, Dean. «, there was a resolution in Cas’ voice that forbid any further argument. Cas was right, the decision was made and having a temper tantrum over it, didn’t help anyone. That, however didn’t mean that Dean didn’t feel betrayed and disappointed; for some reason, he had had the feeling like he could trust Cas. Apparently, he had been wrong.

* * *

Weeks went by and nothing major happened. They got news that cities were being destroyed, the media putting it down as natural catastrophes but Dean knew better. The burning buildings and apocalyptical storms had Angels written all over them and the way Castiel and Balthazar became quieter and quieter with each day told him that he was right. He hadn’t really spoken to Cas since he had learned about the deal with Crowley and he was determined to keep it that way. Castiel was an Angel and it wasn’t like they were friends anyway and once this was all over they wouldn’t see each other ever again.

»Dean! «, Dean winced a bit when he heard Sam’s voice. Judging by his brother’s expression he had had to say his name a few times already. »You alright? «

»Fine, Sammy. «

»Really? ‘Cause you’ve been acting really odd lately. «, Sam said with a frown. »Is it because dad’s here? I mean I know you two never exactly had a healthy relationship but…«

It took Dean a moment until he understood what Sam was talking about and it was hard not to laugh out loud. He hadn’t thought about John being there at all but if Sam wanted to believe that was the problem…»Yeah, whatever. «, Dean muttered.

»You wanna talk about it? «

And hat as just such a Sam – ish thing to say, »Not really. «

There was a moment of silence. Dean felt his brother’s gaze on him but tried to ignore it, »I know what happened. Eight years ago, when he showed up at Bobby’s. «, Sam said suddenly and that was so not what Dean had expected he almost choked on his beer. »What? «, he asked in utter disbelief.

»I know you thought that I wasn’t there but I was. He’d been waiting for you for hours and when you finally came back, all messed up, smelling like sex I knew what he would do and I didn’t stop him because I was still scared of him. I should have said something and I’m sorry. «

Dean stared at his brother, temporarily lost for words, »Sam, «, he forced out. »Jesus, Sammy, you were fourteen years old. Of course, you didn’t say anything. «, he couldn’t belief Sam would even feel guilty for that. It was so ridiculous and just made no sense. _It’s not your job to protect me._ He thought. _It’s the other way around. It’s my job to protect you._

»Well maybe I should have. It’s not fair that you had to put up with all that crap. Not for me. «

»Why are we talking about this again? «, Dean asked and yeah – he knew that wasn’t the right thing to say because Sam was just trying to be good brother but Dean really wasn’t up for that conversation like ever.

»I’m just saying, if you wanted him gone, I’d understand and anyone else would too. «

»I’m fine, Sam. Okay? Fun – fucking – tastic. «, and with those words he left and got himself another beer.

* * *

Another week later, Dean, Sam, Mary, Bobby and Jody were sitting in the Bunker, leaning over old maps while Krissy and Ben were playing with Charlie and Jo in the background.

»I just don’t get it, I mean, there’s no pattern or anything, it just seems like those dick Angels attack the cities at random. «, Dean huffed. He was frustrated and tired and they had run out of beer.

»Yeah, well, you never know what goes on in those celestial heads of ‘em. «, Bobby muttered.

»Speaking of Angels, where are Castiel and Balthazar, anyway? « Mary asked. They hadn’t seen the Angels in days but Dean wasn’t exactly worried. They came and went as they pleased.

»Probably off somewhere saving the world. «, Dean said. He couldn’t even say why he was so angry with them. Especially with Cas. He just was and he was glad that he didn’t have to see him at the moment. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sam checking his phone for the fifth time within the past hour and that, too, was something he found quite annoying. He was just about to say something about it when the phone actually rang. Sam jumped to his feet and Dean could only hear him say, »Thank god, finally. «, before his brother was out of earshot. He turned back to the maps and tried to figure out their next step when Sam returned to the table, his face pale.

»What’s wrong? «, he asked.

»It’s Cas. «, Sam said. »He’s in trouble. «

»What? What are you talking about? «, and why did Sam know about it but he didn’t?

»He and Balthazar were following a lead in Michigan. He said that the next attack might be there so they went to check it out but - «, Sam’s voice failed and Dean groaned. This was really not what he needed right now.

»Where’re you going? «, someone called after him, while Dean walked towards the door.

»Saving their asses! «

* * *

It was an uncomfortably long and silent drive from Kansas to Michigan. Sam had insisted on coming with him, so they took turns driving and all the way Dean was silently cursing under his breath.

»You know we should probably stop for the night. «, Sam said at some point.

»No. «, Dean just said and accelerated even further. He was angry at Cas for getting himself into trouble, for not telling Dean about it, for making a deal with Crowley, for being so goddam righteous and stubborn and fucking gorgeous; so no, they would not stop for the night and - »Jesus fucking Christ I just said all that out loud, didn’t I? «, he all but yelled. Sam’s chuckle was enough as an answer. »Yeah, you sort of did. «, his brother was smirking. »Never knew you swung that way; not that I care. «, he joked and Dean really wanted to kill him. »I’m sorry. «, Sam suddenly whispered.

»What for? «

»Crowley. «

»Not your fault, man. «, Dean replied. Sam opened his mouth like he wanted to protest but ended up saying nothing.


	7. Watch the world go down in flames

When they finally arrived in Neighbour, Michigan, Dean saw immediately what Cas meant with ‘trouble’. It was a small town and probably very lovely if it wasn’t for the black clouds hanging over the roofs of the houses, way too low and too dark to be natural.

Dean let out an empathetic »Fuck! «, as he passed a street sign saying ‘Welcome to the best neighbourhood in the states!’ which was barely readable because of the sheets of rain pouring down on them. The streets were empty and Dean could see that a couple of houses didn’t have a roof anymore; cars were standing in the middle of the street, abandoned. Neighbour was a ghost town.

»Shit. You think we’re too late? «, Dean asked while they drove through the dark streets.

»That depends what for. The people around here? Probably. Cas? I hope not. «

»Yeah, me too. «

Dean stopped the car in front of a pretty house, or at least it looked like it used to be, because now there wasn’t much left; the windows were shattered and parts of the rood had been cast all over the lawn. Dean and Sam got out of the car but before they could approach the house, Dean heard voices and the distinctive sounds of fighting coming from within. Something was burning, thick smoke rising towards the sky. They went inside and Dean saw the true extent of the destruction; the house was a battlefield. Furniture and dead bodies were lying everywhere; probably Angels. A loud thud and a cry sounded from the upper level and Sam and Dean carefully climbed up the remains of the stairs. The first thing Dean could see was Balthazar leaning against the wall; he was alive but only just so, in the room behind him was Cas, fighting against three Angels and a little boy crouching underneath a table.

»Son of a bitch! «

Luckily Castiel and Balthazar had shown them a thing or two on how to fight Angels and his gun was loaded with Angelblade – bullets. The first shot hit its target in the back of the head, causing the others to look around. When Cas saw the two Hunters standing in the corridor, he looked relieved and Dean couldn’t help but smile a bit; but that lasted only for about a second because now that they had the attention of the two remaining Angels and Dean became painfully aware of the fact that it would probably just take the snap of a finger for them to get killed. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that. It didn’t. Dean had to admit that watching Cas in full – on – badass – Angel – mode was very impressive and very hot.

»What are you doing here? «, Cas asked as soon as the two other Angels had dropped dead to the floor.

»Saving your life. «, Dean huffed. »Your welcome by the way. «

Cas opened his mouth as he wanted to say something but a dry sob from underneath the table reminded them that there was someone else who needed their help.

»Hey buddy. «, Dean was kneeling in front of the boy who was still crying silently. »It’s alright now. It’s over. «, he looked over his shoulder and saw that Sam was already checking on Balthazar while Cas just stood there and watched Dean. »Little help here maybe? «

»Of course. «, Cas stepped forward but as soon as he got closer, Kevin tensed up and made himself even smaller.

»Or maybe not. «, Dean held up his hand and Cas stopped in his tracks.

»Hey kiddo, it’s okay. You’re okay, He’s a friend. He’s here to help you. «, Dean almost whispered and carefully lay a hand on the boy’s shoulder. »What’s your name? «, he asked. The boy now stared at him with wide eyes, and it was Cas who answered. »His name is Kevin. He’s a Prophet. «

»What? «

»A Prophet of Heaven. Or at least he will be one day. «

»Right. «, Dean wasn’t going to question that information now because it honestly didn’t matter. This boy, Kevin, needed help and he was a Hunter; it was his job to help people. »Kevin? Listen, I’m Dean, you can trust me. I’m gonna help you, alright? But you’ve got to come out of there. « and miraculously he did. Tears still running down his cheeks, Kevin slowly crawled closer to Dean and allowed him to wrap his arms around the small body. »Hush, it’s okay. It’s okay. Gonna be fine. «, Dean whispered over and over again like a prayer on his lips, calming the boy and himself down.

* * *

 

The drive back to the Bunker was just as quiet as the one to Michigan although this time it was because no one wanted to wake Kevin who was sleeping soundly in the backseat between Castiel and Balthazar. They also stopped at a motel for the night and Dean didn’t even bother with taking his clothes off before he fell on the bed and asleep.

* * *

Dean wasn’t sure at first what it was that woke him up until he heard the voice; Sam’s voice; which was weird because it was just the two of them in the room since Dean had insisted that Castiel and Balthazar would get their own and look after Kevin.

»- had a deal. «, Sam whispered. He sounded angry and anxious at the same time.

»And now we don’t. «, a man with a British accent answered. »Since you are the one who couldn’t keep up their part of it. «

»That’s hardly my fault. How were we supposed to know where they’d attack next? «

Carefully, Dean turned around and opened his eyes ever so slightly. He could see Sam sitting at the table in front of the window, talking to a small man with dark hair.

»And that is not my problem. I cannot help you when you can’t keep those bastard off my back. «, the other man said. Somehow, Dean had a very bad feeling about this; not only was there a strange man in their motel room in the middle of the night but also did he have an idea who this might be; and that was definitely not good.

»Listen - «

»No, you listen to me, Moose, if it wasn’t for your Angel friend I would have never accepted that ridiculous deal you offered and if I wasn’t so desperate I would call it off right now, but it is and I am, so you better deliver or otherwise I _will_ change my mind. «, and although that didn’t even sound like much of a threat, there was something in the guy’s voice that made Dean sit up straight in his bed, gun in his hand.

»Sammy? «, he asked, aiming at the stranger, who now looked at the gun rather unimpressed.

»Hello Squirrel. «

»Dean - «, Sam started but then stopped.

»What’s going on? «

»Look, I can explain - «

»You better. Who is this? «

The man stood up, smiling at him, »How rude of me. Name’s Crowley, King of the Crossroads. «

And yeah, that was exactly what Dean had suspected and it took everything not to shoot the Demon right then and there.

»What fuck are you doing here? How did you even get in here? «, he snarled.

»I’m a Demon, I have my way and as to what I’m doing here, maybe you should ask your brother. «, Crowley replied, before turning back to Sam. »You would do better to think about my words or this will be over before it even started. «. And then he was gone without as much as a trace.

»What the fuck, Sam? «

»Dean, please - «

»Nope. You know what? I don’t wanna hear it. «, Dean said and quickly went towards the door.

»What are you doing? «

»Sleep in the fucking car. «, Dean shouted and slammed the door shut.


	8. Carry the cross

The next morning, Dean woke up with a stiff neck, his back was hurting like hell and he was beyond pissed. Pissed because Sam fucking lied to him; or rather didn’t tell him that he was the one making deals with Demons. They left early and Dean outright refused talking to his brother, making him sit in the backseat while Kevin got to ride shotgun what earned a few very confused looks from Castiel and Balthazar.

»Now, I don’t want to say that this is awkward but…this is awkward. «, Balthazar said eventually after they had been on the rood for almost an hour.

»Yeah well you’re welcome to get out of the car. «, Dean snapped. He was not really up for this conversation and it wasn’t like it was any of Balthazar’s goddam business.

They stopped at a Gas’n’Sip to get coffee and breakfast.

»Dean, wait. «, Sam called behind him but Dean didn’t stop. »For fuck’s sake, will you talk to me? «. Sam’s hand was on his arm, gripping tightly and Dean had no other option than to turn around and glare at his brother.

»Talk to you? You fucking lied to me! You let me be pissed at Cas although he didn’t do anything just because _you_ fucked up! «, he almost yelled and realized that a group of teenagers not far away was staring at them.

»And I’m sorry, okay? I made a mistake. Dean we were desperate and we needed help. We still do, so stop being a jerk and deal with it. «, Sam’s voice was much calmer than him but his face told a different story.

»You made a mistake alright and if Cas hadn’t been there, then what? You would have sold your soul? «, Dean asked. He wasn’t shouting anymore but it was hard. »I don’t get it, Sam. We don’t need a fucking Demon to do the dirty work; we’re better than that. We’re Hunters. «

»You’re right, you don’t get it. This is war, Dean. It doesn’t matter if you’re human or not, what matters is what side you are standing on and Crowley being on our side is the best chance we’ve got. «

»He’s not on our side though, is he? I got that much from last night. «

»He will be. He needs us just like we need him. «

»You better be right about that, Sammy. «, Dean said before turning around and entering the shop.

* * *

By the time, they were back on the road, the sun was high in the sky and Dean was absently humming to the tunes of ‘Problem Child’ on the radio. Kevin was still quiet but breakfast and hot chocolate seemed to have helped at least a little because he didn’t look as sad anymore and when they arrived at the Bunker there was a shadow of a smile on his lips.

»Dean! Sam! «, Mary rushed towards them as soon as they entered the War Room and gave her sons a tight hug. »What happened? I was worried sick. «

»It’s alright mum, we’re fine. «, Dean brushed off her hands but really, he was pleased that she cared so much. The others, too, seemed relieved that they were back and after a short report on what had happened they started talking about what to do next. To Dean’s dismay most of the others seemed to agree that Crowley might be a good chance; of course, it was no surprise that John and Samuel were against it but no one really listened to them since they really were desperate.

»I still don’t like it. «, Dean voiced.

»Me neither but you got a better idea, boy? «, Bobby asked and Dean had to admit that he didn’t. »So that’s that then. «

»I suppose it is. «, Dean muttered before getting up from the table and going to the kitchen to get a beer. He nearly dropped the bottle when he turned around and found Castiel standing only inches away from him. »Fuck’s sake, Cas. You’ve _got_ to stop doing this. «

»My apologies. «, Cas said but he didn’t step back and neither did Dean, they just kept staring at each other intently.

»Uhm, listen, «, Dean said after a while. »I – er – I’m sorry, I suppose. I know it was Sam who went to Crowley and you helped him and probably just wanted to cover for him and yeah – I’m sorry for being a dick. «

»I forgive you. I knew you would be unhappy if you found out; I don’t like seeing you unhappy. « and that was just such a Cas – ish thing to say that Dean actually chuckled at him.

»Right. «, Dean said. They still stood way too close together and Dean started to feel a bit uncomfortable.

»You are a good man, Dean Winchester and Sam only did what he thought was right; you should not resent him for that. «

»He lied to me; he made _you_ lie to me. «

»He did not; it was me who chose to do that in order to protect your brother. «

»You shouldn’t have. He was stupid to ask a Demon for help. «

»Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. He is a grown man, Dean and he can make his own decisions; you are not always responsible for him. «

_I am though,_ Dean though but didn’t say it out loud. On some rational level, he knew that Cas was right; Sam was 22 and he had to grow up at some point but Dean was still his big brother and it was his job to protect him. It would always be his job to protect him.

»Right. «, Dean said again and finally he brought some space between them and made his way back to the War Room.

»Dean. «, Cas’ voice was deep but gentle. »Thank you for saving my life. «

Dean didn’t turn around but he was definitely smiling when he left the kitchen.


	9. A grey so dark

Dean really didn’t know which was worse. Having one person after another die in front of your eyes because of some stupid, pointless war between Heaven and Hell, or watching the world go on, not even realising that something was wrong.

A year had gone by and it still seemed to have no end. They were all standing in the War Room, while Dean wrote yet another name on the Table. The Table was really more a memorial, carrying the names of all those that had fallen.

_Lee Chambers_  

_Larry Ganem_

_Isaac Bass_

_Edward Durban II_

_Josie Sands_

_Victor Henriksen_

_Annie Hawkins_

_Garth Fitzgerald_

_David Ludensky_

_Lenore_

_Violet Duval_

_David Lassiter_.

Despite Dean’s distrust towards Crowley, he now had to admit that having a Demon on your side really wasn’t the worst thing. This was a war in which there was no difference between humans and not – humans. They were all the same, fighting for their lives. Dean looked up and saw them all, his family, so unlike everything he had ever considered possible. Sam stood on his right, Cas on his left; there was Benny Lafitte, a century old Vampire and by now one of Dean’s closest friends; Charlie Bradbury, Jo’s girlfriend and undoubtfully the smartest woman he had ever met; his mum and Adam standing a few feet away; Balthazar, almost unrecognizable now after months and months of fighting; there was Aaron Bass and James Frampton; Bobby, Jody, Ellen and Bill; Krissy Chambers, ten – years – old but when he looked into her eyes, he saw decades of grief and suffering, Ben, the young werewolf and good friend of Krissy and Kevin Tran; Eileen Leahey, Sam’s girlfriend and a courageous Woman of Letters; and of course, Amelia Richardson, the daughter of Doctor T.

Dean saw them all and he felt a heavy weight inside himself. It seemed pointless; they were no closer to finding the Archangels than they had been twelve months ago and he was tired.

Dean heard steps. Recognizing his father and Samuel in the heavy sets of boots, accompanied by two other persons; seconds later, the two men entered the War Room, together with Crowley and Meg. Strangely, the two Demons were smiling.

»Please tell me there are good news for once. «, he said.

»Indeed Squirrel. «, Crowley announced. »Beelzebub is dead. «, there was a low murmur going around the room and Dean, too, looked at Crowley in surprise.

»How’d that happen? «, he asked. The last time he had checked, Beelzebub and Asmodeus had been working together tightly and there had been no way in getting anywhere near them.

»Rumour has it Asmodeus betrayed him. «

»You don’t agree. «, Cas observed.

»I don’t. Someone else must have been involved; however, this is good for us because now Asmodeus’ and Beelzebub’s followers are tearing each other apart. «

»Good. Any news from upstairs? «, Dean turned towards Castiel.

»Naomi has managed to fully take control, those who have refused her are either dead or imprisoned. «

»Not so good. «

»Well at least they don’t carry out their battles in our cities anymore. «, Sam muttered. Of course, he was right. A total of ten cities had been destroyed by the Angels, hundreds and thousands of innocent people had died, until about a month ago it had just stopped. Cas and Balthazar had risked their lives by contacting Heaven to find out that Naomi was in charge of things now.

»Well, I guess that leaves Asmodeus then. How’d we gank him? «

»Patiently, Winchester. «, Crowley answered with a sneer. »Not that you would know what that means. «

Dean clenched his jaw and took a deep breath; as useful as Crowley was, he was also fucking infuriating. He felt Cas stepping closer to him, their bodies almost touching and Dean relaxed; it was a bit weird what influence the Angel had on him but he also didn’t want to question it. Cas was his friend.

»Any idea where that son of a bitch is hidin’? «, Bobby asked.

»Hell, probably. «, Crowley said .

»How do we get into Hell? «, Jo asked.

»There are ways. «

»Care to elaborate? «

»There are four Hell Gates on earth and one in Purgatory. I can promise you, the ones around here will be heavily guarded. «

»And the one in Purgatory? «

»It’s a backdoor of sorts. Could get lucky there. «

»Great! «, Dean clapped his hands together. »That’s a plan then. «

»You wouldn’t survive a trip through Purgatory. It’s the graveyard of every monster that has ever died. «

»Well, we still have to try. «, Dean shot back. He and Crowley glared at each other for a long moment before Crowley sighed exasperatedly,

»Fine. But if one of you bloody morons dies, don’t blame it on me. «, he exclaimed. » I’ll be back tomorrow. «, and then he was gone, leaving Meg behind with them.

»What do we do now? «, Charlie asked. She was still pale and not fully recovered from the injury she had endured a week ago.

»We get ready to finish that dick of a Demon for good. «, Dean answered. After the leaders of the Men of Letters had died, he had found himself in a position in which everyone seemed to be looking up to him and taking orders from him. It was weird, to say the least, because who was he to lead such an operation? What could he do to make sure the people he cared about didn’t get hurt? He hadn’t exactly made a good job of that, so far.

»Listen up everyone. I can’t force you come with me on this but I can’t do it alone. «, he announced.

»And you won’t. «, Benny spoke up. »there’s just one problem, brother. Anybody who is not human enters Purgatory? They won’t get out again unless they’ll hitch a ride. «

»Alright, then we make sure there’s an equal number of humans and non - humans. «

»Then I’m with you. «

»So am I! «

»And I! «

In the end, there were 15 men and women who were willing to go to Purgatory with Dean.

While everyone was getting ready for the next day, Dean had retreated to his own room to have a little break down.

_I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. They’ll all die because of me._

»Dean. «, it was Cas’ voice that broke through his inner monologue. »You will not fail. «

»You been reading my mind? «

»I do not read minds, Dean. But you are in distress and your feelings are calling out to me. They always have. It is visible that you are doubting yourself. «

Dean pointedly ignored the part about his feelings calling out to Cas; they had had that conversation before. »Well, shouldn’t I be? «, he asked instead.

»No. They believe in you, Dean. They trust you. «

»And you? Do you believe in me? Do you trust me «

»Yes. «, there was no hesitation in Cas’ voice. No doubt. For the first time in weeks, it seemed, Dean looked at Cas. Really looked. The Angel had changed during the last year. He seemed more human now, his face not as hard as it used to be, his eyes not as cold. Where he had once been distant and patronizing, he was now, sensitive; almost gentle. Both Balthazar and Cas had lost their home when they had decided to stand against Naomi and Metatron; when they had decided to be on the side of the humans and Dean was grateful for that.

»Thanks, Cas. «, Dean muttered and he meant it.

»Any time, Dean. «, Cas said and turned around to leave the room.

»Stay. «

There was a hint of surprise in Cas’ eyes, but only for a moment before he smiled genuinely. They sat down on the bed together, much closer than would be necessary, and fell into a comfortable silence.


	10. And Hunters Will be Hunted

Dean woke up early the next morning and was surprised to find that Cas was still there; sitting in his bed next to him, their bodies touching ever so slightly. Dean swallowed down the panic that was rising inside him and rolled out of the bed to take a shower. The water felt good on his skin, relaxing his muscles and calming his mind. Cas and Dean had gradually become closer during the past months but Dean wasn’t so foolish to think about that any more than necessary, except… _Nope, not going there,_ he told himself firmly and turned the water cold to get rid of his morning wood because he knew if he jerked off now there would be blue eyes and dark, messy hair and he couldn’t deal with that right now.

Cas was no longer in his room when Dean returned and Dean was both grateful and disappointed because of that. He got dressed quickly and went into the kitchen where he found Adam, reading a book. »Morning little brother. «, he said and ruffled through Adam’s hair. The younger boy protested loudly but there was a smile on his face. »Morning, Dean. «, he muttered. »You okay? «

»Sure, kiddo. Why wouldn’t I be? «, Dean asked and took a sip from his coffee.

»Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re going to Purgatory. «

»Hey, don’t get cheeky. «, Dean warned him.

»What ya gonna do about it? «, Adam asked with a smirk before his face became serious again. »You’re avoiding my question. «

»What question? «, Dean asked back and tried to retreat from the kitchen as subtly as possible. Obviously, he failed.

»The door’s that way, Dean. «, Adam pointed into the direction opposite to where Dean was walking. »And I want to know if you are okay? Truly, honestly okay with risking your life for a couple of Angels. «. He was so much like Sam now that it almost hurt looking at him. His eyes wide and sympathetic, calm but still clear that he didn’t buy Dean’s shit for a second.

»Damn, kid, way too early to go all chick – flick on me. «, Dean muttered. At this point he didn’t even try anymore. They both knew Dean wasn’t okay but also that he would never admit that and that in Dean’s eyes, there wasn’t a choice. He had to do this. Adam shook his head but didn’t pry any further and Dean quickly left the kitchen, this time through the right door and joined the others in the War Room.

* * *

 An hour later, Dean, Sam, Mary, John, Samuel, Cas, Ellen, Bill, Jo, Charlie, Eileen, Meg, Benny, Sal Lassiter and Julian Duval stepped outside of the Bunker the next morning, waiting for Crowley. It was a cold and rainy day, clouds hanging low in the sky. Dean thought that it was quite fitting.

»Hello boys. «

Crowley stood underneath a tree, looking obscenely smug. Next to him was a pretty woman with black hair.

»Crowley. «, Dean greeted the Demon; his voice sounding tight. »Who’s your friend? «

»Tessa. She’s a Reaper. «

»A Reaper? «

»Yes. She’ll take you to Purgatory, what happens after that is out of my and her influence. Good luck; you’ll need it. «

»Well ain’t he just a ray of sunshine. «, Bobby muttered. Dean hadn’t even noticed the Hunter had come outside as well.

»Crowley is right. «, Tessa, the Reaper suddenly said. »Purgatory is a dangerous field and I do not expect to see you all again. «

»Well, don’t sugar – coat it, love. «, Dean commented but soon shut up when he met Tessa’s cold glance.

»Dean Winchester, the righteous and most self – less of them all. I will take you first. «

He felt a cold shudder run down his whole body the Reaper’s hand touched his arm; it a firm grip, unlike everything he would have expected from such a small woman. Suddenly, the air began to flicker and it seemed like reality was crumbling. There was a crack right in front of him, pulsating like a breathing living thing, growing bigger and bigger. Dean stared at it with wide eyes, fear creeping up inside of him. He swallowed and made a determined step towards it.

* * *

He was no longer standing in Lebanon, Kansas; the Bunker was gone, the air dry and hot. Dean looked around cautiously; he was in some kind of forest except the trees were long dead. A graveyard of nature. Something rustled behind him and he quickly drew the machete he had taken with him, but there was nothing there. Maybe it was minutes, maybe hours, later that Sam appeared next to him. His little brother looked confused, his long hair a complete mess on his head. One by one, the others joined them and for some reason, the larger their group got, the more uneasy Dean felt. Some might argue that there was safety in numbers but he only saw death.

»Let’s go. «, he said in a low voice when everyone was there, weapons ready at hand. The further they went into the forest, the drearier it became. The trunks of the trees were black as coal, the ground was covered with dead leaves and everywhere they went, the air seemed to be dusty. Whenever someone stepped on a twig, Dean startled, expecting some kind of attack because if the stories were real, this place ought to be crawling with Monsters. The lack of them didn’t exactly help to ease his mind; in fact, it provoked quite the opposite.

»Where do you think this backdoor is? «, Charlie asked curiously.

»Well if I knew we wouldn’t be looking for - «, Dean started but then stopped. This time there had definitely been movement in the shadows. He only just managed to shove Charlie aside before a massive mountain of a man jumped out from behind a tree towards Dean. Relying completely on his instincts, Dean let himself fall backwards, rolled off his shoulder and the Vampire landed next to him. Within a matter of seconds, Dean was back on his feet, ready to behead the creature but when he struck out to land a blow, the man’s head already flew off his shoulders and landed somewhere in the dark.

»Thanks Benny. «, he said earnestly and the Vampire smiled. »Anytime, brother. «

»Dean. «, the pressing undertone in Sam’s voice let Dean turn around. They were surrounded by all kinds of Monsters. Dean could count at least ten more Vampires, five Werewolves, two Djinn and something that looked suspiciously like a Wraith.

»Fuck. «

They stood back to back, everyone looking for a way out but Dean already knew that there was none; they had walked right into a trap.

A Vampire, a woman looking younger than Dean was the first one to attack, going straight to Samuel who killed her with a swift move; after that hell broke loose. Dean found himself fighting against the Wraith and a Werewolf, while trying to keep an eye on the others.

Jo was protecting Charlie and Dean wondered why the red head had come with them in the first place; of course, the answer was currently trying not to be ripped apart by a Vampire but was that really worth dying for?

Ellen, Bill and Mary were a well – rehearsed team, always having each other’s backs, never veering too much from the others.

Sam was protecting Eileen while helping Benny with the Djinn; while both John and Samuel fought for themselves.

Sal Lassiter and Julian Duval were fighting side by side, which was odd since they usually couldn’t sand the sight of each other.

Meg was death on legs.

Letting out a frustrated cry, Dean drove his silver dagger through the Wraith’s heart and dodged a blow from the Werewolf. He was looking for Cas.

»Watch out! «, Dean swivelled around and was suddenly face to face with a fanged grimace of an incredibly ugly Vampire. Before he could even register what was happening, he was being pushed against a dead trunk, smelling the breath of the Monster as it lowered its fangs towards his exposed neck. Dean closed his eyes and tried to wriggle his way out of the grasp of the Vamp but it seemed hopeless; a sharp pain told him that the teeth of the Monster had broken his skin, he could almost feel his blood being sucked out of him. It was an odd impression, a bit like being drunk. A deceiving kind of euphoria rushed through him, dazing him. He didn’t feel any pain, he just – suddenly it stopped. Dean sagged to the ground, his eyelids heavy. He could see that the Vampire was dead, his eyes burned out of their sockets. He could see a pair of incredible blue eyes, staring at him in concern. He could hear people calling his name. He could feel Castiel’s hand on his forehead, warm and gentle before everything went black.


	11. Throes Of Perdition

When Dean opened his eyes again, he expected to have a headache or _something_ ; but he didn’t. He felt perfectly fine.

»Thank god. «. His mum was kneeling next to him, looking relieved. »I was getting worried; Castiel said you’d need a bit of rest. «

»What happened? That son of a bitch bit me. «

»It’s fine. Castiel healed you. «

Instinctively, Dean’s eyes wandered off to find the Angel and he didn’t have to look for long. Cas stood in the background, his eyes fixed on Dean. When he noticed the Hunter’s gaze, he stepped forward. »I am glad you are better. «, he said.

»Yeah, thanks to you apparently. «

»I only did what I had to do. «

Dean fought his way up onto his legs. It was colder now, darker; night must have fallen. There was a fire burning and Jo and Charlie sat on the ground, huddled against each other and occasionally whispering into each other’s ear. Meg lay on the ground, looking like she was sleeping. John, Samuel, Ellen and Bill were standing watch.

»Where’s Sammy? «, Dean asked. He couldn’t help but feel a rising sense of panic when he couldn’t see his little brother.

»Scouting the area with Benny and Eileen. «, Mary answered and Dean let out a relieved breath, when he saw it, something in his mother’s eyes.

»What is it? «, he asked.

»Sal and Julian. They’re dead. «

Dean swallowed. He had never really had a chance to get to know the two men but it was still hard to hear. They had always been brave; fought for what they had believed in.

»Dean! «, Three figures broke through the line of trees and Dean could see smile on his brother’s face. »I was actually worried about you. «

»That’s ‘cause you’re a big baby. «, Dean laughed and Sam hit him on the arm.

»Jerk. «

»Bitch. «

* * *

They didn’t sleep much and it was still dark when they put out the fire and walked on through the deserted woods. They were more cautious now, always listening for oncoming threats. Once or twice they met another Monster but nothing compared to the crowd of the previous day and Dean was glad about that. Jo was still hurt, Sal and Julian dead and Sam looked like he hadn’t slept at all. They were lucky if they even made it to the door.

»Wait. «, Dean held his hand up as a sign for the others to stop. »D’you hear that? «, he asked. It wasn’t much, just the faint idea of splashing and gurgling. »Sounds like a river. «

They turned right and moved downhill. Sam, Benny and Cas never leaving his side, while Marry was close behind him. It was quite ironic how, even in this situation, a situation in which anyone of them could be dead any second now, he felt save. He was with his family. The sounds of running water got louder and louder, giving hope to all of them.

»Oh man, look at this! «, Benny called out. Dean saw what he meant; they stood in front of a river, making its way between the trees, looking oddly idyllic.

»I think I’m in heaven! «, Jo called out as soon as she spotted the water.

»Not quiet. «, Ellen muttered, but she, too, smiled. It really was a relieve to see that even in this dire world, there was something alive; something beautiful; and if it was just a river, running through the woods. Dean didn’t know exactly how much time they spent at the shore but it was already quite late when they decided to move on.

»Come on. «, he said. « We need to find that door. «

As it turned out; finding that door wasn’t so difficult after all. They followed the stream only meeting one Monster and it was Eileen who pointed out the strange rocks underneath an especially old, huge tree. »What about that? «, she asked quietly. Her face was stern and Dean understood why. There was an inexplicable cold radiating from the rocks. Something that pulled him closer but the same time pushed him away.

»That must be it. «, Sam agreed. He had his hand wrapped around Eileen’s, eyes fixed on the doorway to Hell. Dean and Cas stepped closer, carefully examining the cave – like rocks. He could see in Cas’ face that this was the right place and together they pushed open the door. Air was rushing into the black space; pulling in leaves and twigs and Dean could feel the temperature drop around them. A cold dread creeping up on him.

»Right. «, his voice sounded flat and he quickly cleared his throat. »Last chance to back out. «, he announced and looked at his friend and family. He saw fear and concern, but also determination. No one spoke, they just looked at Dean, but that was enough. They would do this. With one last nod, he turned towards the portal and stepped in.

* * *

Once Dean was on the other side, there was no doubt about where he was. Although he had always pictured Hell as a hot, fiery place with lots of blood and agonizing screams; once he was there, seeing the barren stone walls, smelling the cold air, he felt it impossible to ever have pictured anything else. It was a hopeless place, filled with broken dreams and false promises. A brush of fabric and the distinct warmth of another body close by told him that the others had made it through as well and without looking back, he strode forward, down the dark corridor.

»Does anyone even know where we’re going or what we’re looking for? «, Charlie whispered intently. No one really bothered to answer her, instead, Dean raised his hand to tell the others to stop. It was sudden and he could hear bodies bumping against each other. They were standing at the corner of a junction and Dean was completely lost.

»We could always split up. «, Sam suggested. It was a terrible idea, Dean knew that much but he also didn’t have a better plan and the possibility to get caught was possibly less if they were in smaller groups.

»Fine. «, he answered in a hushed voice. »Mum, Samuel, Ellen and Bill, you go right; Sam, take dad and the girls, look what’s down left. Meg, you’re coming with the three of us. «

As they parted, Dean threw a worried glance after his brother; he didn’t really feel content with letting him walk off but then again, Sam was more than capable of looking after himself, John was a good fighter no matter how much of a dick he was sometimes, Jo had been raised to be a Hunter and Eileen and Charlie had proven that what they lacked in experience, they more than made up for with courage and enthusiasm.

»They’ll be fine. «, Benny muttered as if he had read his thoughts. Dean gave a sharp nod and led the other four further down the corridor. There was hardly any light but he could see enough to spot a heavy door; his machete ready in his hand, he braced himself for whatever might be waiting for them behind it.

* * *

The lack of Demons made Dean think like they walking right into another trap. Behind the first door was another and another and another. They turned left and right and left again and Dean wasn’t sure he would ever find a way out of this labyrinth. He had though that Meg, being a Demon and all that, might be a helpful guide but that soon proved to be wrong.

»How am I supposed to know, Winchester. Do you have any idea how big this place actually is? I was one of Alastair’s toys before all this started, all I have ever really seen are the torture chambers. «, she snapped after Dean made the mistake of asking her for possible directions.

»Alright, alright. «, he huffed and was just about to say something in return when he heard voiced and hurried steps from behind. »Shit. «, he cursed. There was another corridor to their right and they quickly hastened into it, pressing against the cold wall as the steppes came closer. They rushed passed them, four or five Demons, and Dean got the impression that something must have happened because they were in a great hurry and one of the seemed to be injured. He threw a questioning glance towards the others but was only met with shrugs and confused looks. When the group was out of earshot, Dean made a decision; it was probably a very reckless, very stupid one but it was the only one that made sense at the moment. He set off to follow the Demons. If Meg’s exasperated groan was anything to go by, she was definitely convinced that he was on some kind of suicide mission but Dean pointedly ignored her and made his way down the corridor. As expected his friends followed sue and soon enough they stood in front of a double winged door which stood half way open so that Dean could see the havoc inside. The room was full of people, fighting and screaming and no one seemed to even notice the four intruders in the corridor. There were more steps coming from behind but nowhere to hide but miraculously they just ran pass them.

»What the fuck? «, Dean mouthed towards his friends who just shrugged. Carefully they slipped inside and only then, they saw the full extent of the chaos. Demons lay on the floor, presumably dead, while the rest kept on fighting each other but Dean didn’t really see all that. His eyes were fixed on five people at the other end of the room, all tied up on legs and arms.

»Sammy. «, he choked out when he recognized his brother. He looked unconscious but otherwise unharmed. His first impulse was to simply make his way through the mass of Demons but he thought better of it. They might have not seen them yet, but he was pretty sure that a human stepping into the midst of Demons would draw attention to him; and not just any human but Dean fucking Winchester. Next to Sam were Charlie, Jo, Eileen and John, whose face was battered and bruised, hanging in his bonds. It was an unpleasant sight, making Dean sick to his stomach but most of all outraged. No one just beat up his family and hung them up like pieces of meat at the slaughterhouse. And it was the sight of his unconscious, beat – up father that did make him snap. With an angry growl, Dean practically threw himself into the fight and just as expected, that got the Demons’ attention. Not all of them but enough that Dean did reconsider his decision and got nearly killed more than once. The fact that he didn’t, was really just thanks to the others who had followed closely behind. He was fighting back to back with Cas and Benny, while Meg was nowhere to be seen but Dean didn’t have the time to worry about her right now because an especially cruel looking Demon stood in front of him and Dean could feel a familiar force that suddenly knocked him off his feet and threw him against the wall. He groaned when he felt the dull ache in his back but fortunately it didn’t last for long. He watched in awe as Castiel lay a hand on the Demon’s head and it seemed like it was burning up from within, leaving nothing but an empty shell. Dean landed on his feet and quickly ran the rest of the way towards his brother and soon Benny and Cas were by his side, watching his back. He made a quick job of the chains, catching Sam as he sank to the ground. He was awake; barely so but he was and Dean let out a breath of relief.

»Let me heal him, Dean. «, Cas whispered into his ear and before Dean could do as much as nod, Cas had already pressed his fingers to Sam’s forehead and gasped.

»Sam. Sammy, you’re okay? «, he asked and Sam nodded. It was obvious that he was still a bit wobbly on his legs but the fact that he could stand at all was more than Dean had hoped for. Together they freed the others and Dean took a moment to wonder where his mum was when he noticed that it was very quiet around them. Too quiet. The sound of fighting had died down and Dean didn’t dare to look what was happening; but he had to. He had to know. Slowly, very slowly, he turned around. It was true, the fighting had stopped, Demons stood in the middle of the room, staring at the heavy double winged door which was now wide open. He couldn’t see much through the sea of bodies but someone had to be standing there.

»Asmodeus is dead. «, a voice declared and Dean was shocked to realise that it was the voice of a child. A little girl by the sound of it but he had never heard a child speak like that. Cold and heartless. »Everyone who will continue to disobey me will be punished. «.

Dean could hear steps, saw the crowd part, giving him a clear view. Dean watched with dread as a girl of maybe six or seven years walked down the alley of Demons. Her white dress was drained in blood, her smile vicious. Quickly, Dean stood up straight and stepped in front of his friends. »Hello Dean Winchester. «, the girl greeted him. »I don’t think we’ve met. I am Lilith, the new Queen of Hell. «


	12. Flying on broken wings

As Lilith gradually came closer, Dean decided that he was undeniably and completely fucked. The kind of fucked that said ‘this is it, please insert your last words here’.  From the corner of his eyes he could see Cas stepping forward next to him, he could feel the warmth of the Angel’s body, giving him comfort and Dean was grateful for that.

»Where are my brothers? «, Cas demanded to know. Lilith laughed, her head falling back but is a cold laugh, sending shudders down Dean’s spine.

»You are a clever one, aren’t you Castiel? The Archangels are save and they’re not going anywhere. «, the sweetness of her voice was sickening and Dean couldn’t blame Cas for stepping forward angrily but he still held him back.

»Cas, don’t. «, he said warningly and lay a hand on Cas’ shoulder. It was nothing more than a light touch and Dean knew, even if he had grabbed with all the strength he had, he wouldn’t be able to hold the Angel back if Cas didn’t want to be held back; surprisingly (luckily), Cas did. He stopped and Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding.

»That’s right, be afraid because I’ve only just started. Taking the Archangels simply was a means to the end. An annoying necessity. And now that Hell is mine I will deal with Naomi. «

»What are you going to do? Kill every Angel and take over Heaven? «, Dean asked spitefully.

»My, my, Dean, who do you think I am? I do not need to kill all the Angels, just enough to make the rest of them understand. «

»Understand what exactly? «

»Who is in charge from now on. «

Dean cursed inwardly, there was no way they’d get out of this alive.

Except, maybe there was.

He had completely forgotten about Meg, until she suddenly stood in the double winged door, a knife in her hand, her eyes burning black. »Hey, bitch! «, she yelled and that was probably both the most stupid and the bravest thing Dean had ever seen but it worked. Lilith spun around just as Meg threw the knife; Dean didn’t even wait to see if it hit its goal, instead he made sure that the others got the hint and they quickly backed away towards a small door. When everyone had entered the corridor, Dean cast one last look back. Lilith was still alive, while Meg lay on the floor, looking like she was choking, blood was dripping from her eyes.

»Run you idiot! «, she gasped when she saw Dean lingering. He hated himself for not being able to help her. She was a Demon, sure, but she also risked her live for them. _Maybe_ , Dean thought, _I was wrong_. _Maybe, the world isn’t coloured in black and white._ Ignoring the nagging guilt, Dean shut the door behind him and ran.

* * *

How they made their way out of Hell, Dean didn’t know. It was all a blur of long corridors, of dead ends and more Demons. At some point, they ran into Mary, Ellen and Bill and Dean actually wanted to cry with relief when he saw his mother alive and smiling. »Where’s Samuel? «, he asked with a frown when he noticed that his grandfather was missing.

»What do you mean? I thought he was with you? He said he wanted to find you. «

»He didn’t. «

There was a moment of raw emotions, running over Mary’s face before she swallowed and grabbed Dean’s hand tightly. »We need to leave. «, she said, her voice hard and somewhat detached. Dean nodded but said nothing. He felt sorry for her. Samuel might have been a very strict man but he was still her father and she loved him.

»Dad! «, Samuel suddenly turned the corner of a nearby corridor, looking breathless but unharmed. »God, I’m glad you’re okay. «, Mary quickly wrapped her arms around the older man.

Dean nodded and was just about to turn back and walk down the corridor towards the portal when he heard a horrifying, strangled scream. His gun ready at hand to defend his friends he spun around but there was nothing to defend. It was already too late. He saw Jo; she wasn’t screaming anymore, her face a pained mask of disbelief and terror. He saw Charlie, her arms wrapped around her girlfriend keeping her from sinking to the ground. He saw the shocked faces of everyone around him. He saw Bill, lying on the ground, motionless, a pool of dark, red blood forming underneath his body. And he saw the Demon, Ruby, he remembered; she was grinning wickedly, her eyes a sea madness and in her hands, she held a heart. Dean heard the shot before he even had time to process what he was seeing; before his finger on the trigger could as much as twitch. Mary stood next to him, the Colt in her hand, still pointed in Ruby’s direction as the bullet had already sunk into the flesh. Dean could see the Demon inside her burn out and the body fell to the ground. A body, long since dead.

* * *

Dean felt numb, when they finally arrived at the Bunker. It wasn’t the nice kind of numb, that you felt after an exhausting day of work; no, it was the kind in which he felt like he was dreaming. Everything seemed surreal and sketchy. He was aware of the people around him heard them talking and crying but all that never reached him; like he was standing behind glass, simply witnessing as the world passed him by. There was a hand on his shoulder, it was merely a touch, gentle and comforting and Dean knew it was Cas without turning around but it felt like an anchor to Dean; something to hold on to, while shattering the glass into a million pieces. Reality hit him like a slap in the face and he felt himself stumbling back.

Bill was dead.

That was the only thing he could think of. The only thing that was real. He couldn’t bear to look at Jo or Ellen who were sitting on the sofa, eyes blank while Charlie had her arm wrapped around Jo. Bobby and John were drunk and Dean felt like he could use a beer or two as well. Or maybe five or six. Anything that could delay the pain, he knew would set in sooner or later.

»Dean. «, and there it was again. That little word, sounding like a prayer on Cas’ lips; expressing everything he could not say otherwise. Dean shook his head, it was answer enough; he didn’t want to talk about it, not now, not ever, and Cas understood.


	13. A World Of Make Believe

»So, what _are_ you saying? «, Dean asked Cas in a slightly annoyed voice. They’d been at this for hours and it was 2 a.m. in the fucking morning and he was tired.

»I am saying that we have approached the problem from a completely wrong angle. «, the Angel answered. »What we should have asked ourselves is, what place could hold four Archangels hostage for six years without anyone finding them? «

»Pray tell, what? «

»The Cage. «

»The Cage – what fucking cage? «, Dean deliberately raised his voice.

»When Lucifer was cast out of Heaven, our Father built a cage; no one knows its location but it is strong enough to hold Archangels imprisoned. «

»Fun – _fucking_ – tastic. «, Dean muttered. He rubbed his eyes, trying to regain a clear head; he just couldn’t think anymore.

»Dean. «, his mother’s hand lay on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. »Go to bed, love; you’re exhausted. «, she said and yeah, he really was. Without another word, Dean left the War Room to go to his room and collapsed on his bed.

Five years ago, they had come back from Purgatory, bloody and three men and a Demon short; since then it seemed like a lot and nothing had changed at the same time. They had slowly gotten over Bill’s death, Jo and Ellen weren’t really fighting anymore and there hadn’t been any more major losses; mostly because they had barricaded themselves in the Bunker, since that was the safest place in the country for them right now. No one, whether Angel or Demon or human, could get in there unless someone let them in. The downside to that was, that Dean was slowly going crazy because of it; they all were. Lilith had taken over both Heaven and Hell now and leaving the safety of their home was an act of suicide.

* * *

When he woke up the next morning it was late already and he found everyone working on their plan to find the Archangels.

»Okay, okay, let’s go over this again. «, Sam said, »Cas says that the Angels are probably in the Cage, now, we know that it takes the blood of an Archangel to bind Lilith’s power so we can kill her; but how do we open the Cage? «

»It says here that there are two ways, «, Charlie read from the book in front of her. »The Cage is protected by 666 seals and if 66 of them are broken – well, we don’t have time for that. Then there are the rings of the Four Horsemen but I have no idea how we would get to them. «, Dean could hear the resignation in his friend’s voice.

»There has to be another way. «, Sam muttered frantically while rubbing his hand over his face. It was frustrating to see them all like this, tired and worn out. It was Balthazar that spoke up eventually, »Maybe there is. «, everyone turned their head towards him, eyes wide with hope and anticipation. »Back in the day I used to know that Witch and she once mentioned that with the right spell and the right kind of power she could do pretty much anything. «

Dean scowled; he didn’t like Witches, like at all, but still…»Who was that Witch? «, he asked and only then seemed the others to even notice that he was there.

»Rowena. «, Balthazar answered and Dean felt a shudder run down his spine. He remembered Rowena. He had only met her once all those years ago when she had healed John but that had been enough..

»Rowena? «, Mary asked surprised. »I know her. She helped me once. « and it was unnecessary to add that Mary seemed more than a bit reluctant to see her again; Dean totally shared that sentiment.

»Well, we at least have to try, right? «, Charlie asked happily and there was a maybe – positive – murmur going through the room, which seemed to be good enough.

* * *

Dean had written an actual _list_ of things they needed to do.

  1. Find Rowena
  2. Make her find and open the Cage
  3. Free the Archangels
  4. Gank Lilith
  5. Don’t get killed in the process



Seeing it written down like that seemed easy enough, however, Dean was perfectly aware that it would be much harder and much more dangerous and how the hell were they even supposed to find that Witch? Again, it was Balthazar that knew the answer to that question. »Crowley. «, he simply said without any further explanation and like always, it was Dean’s job to call the Demon.

_»Squirrel. «_

»Crowley. «, Dean huffed into the phone.

_»Let me guess, you need my help. «_ , and the smugness in Crowley’s voice was almost too much to take.

»We need to find someone, a Witch named Rowena. «

There was a moment of silence at the other end of the line and Dean wondered if maybe Crowley had just hung up on him, until - _»Rowena? Why? «,_ and there was something in the Demon’s voice that was so unfamiliar that Dean couldn’t even put a name to it.

»We need her to find the Cage and open it; we belief that that is where Lilith keeps the Archangels. «

_»And how should I know where Rowena is? «_

»Well I don’t know, Crowley. You’re a fucking Crossroads Demon, can’t you just find her? «

_»I could. «_

»Will you? «

_»That depends on what I would get out of it. «_

»Well duh, how about your fricking life back? Or the lack thereof. «, Dean replied.

Another moment of silence. _»Fine. «,_ Crowley said eventually. _»I will get back to you once I found her. «_ and then the line is dead for good.

»Well, «, Dean said to no one in particular, »That was weird. «

»Is he going to help? «, Sam asked from across the table.

»Yeah. «, Dean nodded. He looked around; almost everyone was there, watching him but like always. His eyes fell on Castiel. The Angel’s intense gaze resting on him, like he was looking right through him into Dean’s very soul and maybe he was. He had long since stopped telling Ca that it was creepy to stare at people like that, even found himself enjoying it a little bit and when he smiled, Cas smiled back at him.

* * *

Dean felt disorientated when he woke up. He remembered sitting down on the couch after dinner, a beer in his hand and Cas next to him. They’d been watching TV with a few others and at some point, he must have fallen asleep because this was definitely not his bed he was lying in and – wait – was he lying on someone? Dean blinked a few times and saw the shape of a body with him on the couch. Cas’ body. A pair of insanely blue eyes were looking at him and Dean was grateful that it was so dark because he was pretty sure that he was blushing; then he remembered the reason why he woke up in the first place. The front door of the Bunker had opened and that was not right because no one was supposed to even touch that door and certainly not in the middle of the night. He threw one last glance towards Cas and lay a finger on his lips to make sure he would stay quiet, then, he carefully got to his feet and picked up the gun that had fallen on the floor. There was not a sound to be heard and maybe he had been wrong; maybe he had just dreamed except – it wasn’t much, just a faint breeze of cold air, but it was enough. Dean could feel Cas following him close by as they tiptoed through the darkness, carefully listening to any suspicious sounds.

»Dean? «, a deep and all too familiar voice asked and Dean lowered his gun.

»Samuel? For fuck’s sake, I thought I’d heard the door. «, Dean muttered.

»No, it’s just me. «

»Yeah, well. I’ll go back to my bed then. « Dean turned around and his eyes fell on the door; which stood ajar. Dean froze; that was not right. With a deep frown on his face he went up the stairs warily looking out for any kind of movement. He closed the door and locked it safely, arguing with himself if he should shut down the whole Bunker, just in case; that’s when he saw the sigils, or rather what was left of them. They had spent months securing the building and making sure that no one could enter unnoticed, especially no Demon or Angel, but those sigils were broken, the protection useless. Castiel must have seen it too by then because the Angel immediately rushed to the control board and pushed a few buttons; all the lights went on and Dean could hear the sound of deadbolts snapping shut. They were locked in.

»What’s going on? «, Sam stood in the doorway to the War Room, his hair sticking up into all directions.

»Somethin’s here. «, Dean grumbled and pressed pass his brother, trying to keep his eyes on every possible hide out. One by one, the others walked in as well, all looking sleep deprived and grumpy.

»There better be a good reason why you woke me up in the middle of the night. «, Bobby huffed.

»Believe me, there is. The door was open and the sigils a broken. «, Dean explained.

»Balls! «

»What do you mean the door was - «, Charlie started but a piercing scream from somewhere in the building made her stop.

»That was Krissy. «, Jody gasped and turned around to get the girl.

»Jody wait! «, Dean called out but it was already too late. »Son of a bitch! Sam, get the others out of here. «, he shouted while running after Jody.

The Bunker was practically a labyrinth of corridors and room and usually Dean really liked it, only right now he wished it was smaller. Something was burning and he could see the smoke dangling over his head, making it hard to breath. Luckily, finding Krissy wasn’t so hard: she was still in her room, two dead bodies lying on the floor by her bed. It too Dean a moment to see Jody and Ellen as well, both panting, holding Angel Blades in their hands.

»You okay? «, he asked and offered to help Krissy up from the bed; only now did he see why she was screaming in the first place; one of the Demons was her dead father. »It’s okay kiddo, you’re safe now. «, he whispered and tried to lay a hand on the girl’s shoulder but she shrugged him of and walked out of the room. Cursing under his breath he followed her outside, only to be confronted by more Demons. It seemed like the place was swarming with them. »Jody. «, he just said and the older woman understood. Dean watched from the corner of his eyes how she took Krissy’s hand and dragged her down the corridor while Ellen and he made sure to fight off the Demons, while fire crept inevitably closer and closer.

»It’s too many, «, Ellen gasped, she was bleeding from a wound on her side. »Gotta make a run for it. «

And as much as Dean hated to admit it, she was right. It was two against six and they didn’t have a chance. Without looking back, Dean supported Ellen while running back to the War Room and towards the door; Sam stood there, his hand pressed on the control board and that was when Dean remembered they had the place on lockdown.

»Shit. «, he cursed. Ellen looked at him and then at Sam in confusion before she saw the red light above the door. She paled visibly although that might have also been because she was losing a lot of blood and her legs looked like they would give way any second now.

»Go. «, she said, taking Sam’s place on the board that would open the door. »One of us has to stay here to hold the door open and it’s not gonna be you. «, she almost yelled at him. It was getting hotter; the air was filled with thick smoke and Dean could hear the footsteps of the Demons.

»No! «, Sam yelled back, the same time Dean shouted, »No way; I’m not leaving you here Ellen! Jo - «

»Jo will be fine! But she needs you, okay? They all need you. «

»Ellen - «

»Dean and Sam Winchester, you will go through that door right now! «, she commanded and suddenly something inside Dean wanted to laugh. There she was, the Ellen he knew and loved, except this wasn’t funny in any way. This meant - »Tell Jo I love her. «

And then somewhere there was a piece of ceiling breaking down and dark shapes approaching them through the smoke. Dean threw one last glance towards Ellen who looked back, determined and stubborn and they ran.


	14. Drowning in slow-motion

Dean burst the door open and as soon as it fell closed, he heard the lock snap shut once more. Sam was standing next to him, coughing; he could see the others standing in the cold December air, trembling slightly. It was by far not everyone.

»Dean, «, Jo stepped forward. She was only dressed in a t – shirt and a pair of boxers but she didn’t look cold. »Dean, where’s my mum? «, she asked.

»Jo, I- «, but his voice failed.

»What? Where is she Dean? «, there was anger and fear in her voice and Dean was unable to look her in the eyes.

»I’m sorry, Jo. «, he whispered hoarsely towards the ground.

»You bastard! «, Dean could hear steps and felt a fist connecting with his temple. »You fucking, selfish swine! This is your fault, this - « but Dean didn’t hear what exactly it was because Jo had broken down to the ground crying. Dean gulped and kneeled beside her, trying to comfort her in any way although he knew he couldn’t. What was he supposed to say? Jo was right, this was _his_ fault. He should have known they weren’t save. He should have reacted sooner. He should have made sure that everyone was outside. He should have stayed behind. He should have – And only then, when he felt hot tears, running down his skin, he noticed that he was crying too.

* * *

Ten. Ten people had died in the attack and Dean hadn’t even known all their names. They were now 23, including Dean; cold and tired and without a home. Fortunately, the cars in the garage hadn’t been destroyed and there had been enough for them to get on the road. Dean was driving the Impala, Sam next to him and Mary, Cas and Eileen in the back; no one was talking and no one knew where exactly they were going but that was okay as soon as they got away from the Bunker. Or what was left of it, anyway.

Dean was trying hard to keep it together, although he really wasn’t sure how much longer that would work. How much more he could take before breaking. Too many people had died. They drove through town after town and saw the glowing stars in the windows, Christmas lights in the front gardens, snowmen and children throwing snowballs and it seemed so _wrong_. How could everyone be happy? How could everyone not know what was going on?

»Dean. «, Sam’s voice broke his train of thoughts but he still barely registered it. »Stop the car, Dean. « and just why would he do that? He accelerated even more, knew that he was way above the speed limit but he didn’t care. »Stop the fucking car! «.

»Dean! «, it was Cas’ gravelly voice that broke through to him and Dean realized what he was doing. He braked rather abruptly and pulled over. His eyes were shut tightly and he was trying, he really was, to breathe deeply.

»You alright? «, Sam asked and Dean didn’t even have to look to know that Sam was giving him his concerned puppy – eyes.

»Fine. «, Dean pressed out and everyone knew it was a lie but what the hell; it wasn’t like it mattered anyway. Or like anybody cared because nothing was alright.

»Come on, let me drive. «, Sam suggested and Dean just opened the door without even protesting.

They had driven for another hour or so, when Dean’s phone rang; one look on the caller ID told him that it was Crowley and he actually had to force himself to answer because he really didn’t want to deal with the Demon right now.

»Crowley this is sort of bad timing. «, he snapped.

_»Well, that’s not my problem. I found your bitch – excuse me, Witch. She’s in Wyoming. «,_ Crowley said.

»Right, thanks. «

_»What? No snarky comments? I’m disappointed. «_

»Well, _that_ is not _my_ problem. «, Dean muttered before ending the call.

»What did he want? «, Sam asked without taking his eyes off the road.

»Rowena is in Wyoming. «

»Oh, okay, that’s good, right? «

»I s’pose. «

»Dean, I - «

»No, Sammy. No. «

No one said a word for the rest of the journey and at some point, Dean fell asleep.

* * *

When he woke up they were somewhere in Colorado and the sun stood high in the sky and Dean wished he could just fall asleep again because then at least, he didn’t have to feel. They stopped at a diner to get something to eat, except Dean almost got sick all over the table once he smelled the food. He could feel the concerned looks of Sam and Mary and Cas and Benny and god knows who on him They talked little, and Dean reluctantly explained that the Witch Rowena was supposedly in Wyoming.

»You think she’ll help us? «, Bobby asked dubiously.

»Let’s just hope so. «, Dean answered. He saw the dark expression on his mum’s face ad realised that he had never asked what exactly had happened in that house. What it was that Rowena had taken.

»Mum? «, he nudged her side and Mary’s eyes snapped back into focus.

»Sorry. «, she muttered, »She won’t help us for free; we’ll have to give something in return. «

»Like what? Money? «, Jody asked and was met with a dozen shakes of heads.

»No, that would be easy. She’s far more creative than that. «, Mary muttered. Dean wasn’t sure what that meant but he also wasn’t eager to find out. They settled back into the cars and drove on.

* * *

»You _do_ realise that someone let them in, right? «, Sam asked in a hushed voice and Dean groaned.

»Sam, we’ve been over this. We can’t afford to mistrust everyone. «

»But, Dean, we need to find out who - «

»What we _need_ , «, Dean interrupted his brother, »is to get to Wyoming and find that bitch of a Witch. «. It wasn’t like he didn’t agree with Sam; they had to find out how the Demons had gotten into the Bunker but they also had to find the Cage and defeat Lilith and right now that was on top of his priority list. He wanted to trust the others. He had to. »Go to sleep, Sammy. «, Dean said with a sigh. Since it was impossible to find a motel for 23 people they had decided to take turns sleeping in the cars while the others kept watch. Apparently, Sam realized that Dean didn’t have anything else to say on that matter and retreated to the Impala. Dean sighed again, he could feel that someone, probably Cas was watching him. »It’s still creepy to watch people. «, he said loud enough for the Angel to hear.

»My apologies. «

»It’s alright, Cas. «, Dean said, because it was. He had gotten so used to it, that the thought of not having Cas’ eyes on him was rather unsettling. »I’m glad you’re here. «, Dean muttered; it was the truth.

»Thank you, Dean. I am glad to be here too. «, Cas stated matter – of – factly, making the Hunter chuckle.

»I am sorry about Ellen, I know how much she meant to you. «. It was the first time anyone ever dared to speak to Dean about what had happened because Dean had made it perfectly clear that he did not want to talk about it. Strangely, it was okay to hear it from Cas.

»Yeah well, I’m sorry too. «, Dean said. He didn’t look at Cas, but rather kept his eyes on the distance. »She was family, you know. Jo’s like my little sister and Ellen did so much for me. Whenever mum or dad went on a Hunt and we couldn’t go to Bobby, she took us in and after dad left…well…it was a shit time for all of us. « Dean remembered the times he had spent at the Roadhouse; he had been the one to teach Jo in hand to hand combat until one day, Jo had actually managed to kick his ass; Bill had been the one to slip him his first beer at 16; his first kiss in the woods nearby with the daughter of some Hunter. They were good memories.

»You feel guilty. «, it wasn’t a question s much as a statement. »Don’t. Her death was not your fault. «

Dean snorted, »Yeah I’m sure Jo disagrees on that. «, he said bitterly.

»Jo is grieving for her mother; it is only natural to seek the blame in someone else. «

»You know an awful lot about humans for not being one of us. «, Dean said with a grin and turned his head to look at the Angel. Cas was smiling. »Dean, I have watched humanity for decades. I was there when the first humans were created. I might not always understand everything you say or do but I understand enough. Your feelings are your greatest treasure. Your strength and at the same time your weakness and - «, his voice faltered a bit. »And spending this time here on earth I found myself admiring that. Even more than I have before. It is something worth protecting; worth fighting for. «

»And you? What do you fight for, Cas? «, Dean asked, not entirely sure why.

»I am not so sure anymore. «, there was something in the blue depths of Cas’ eyes that made Dean hold his breath. Something raw and so _human_ , that Dean had to remind himself that he was talking to an Angel. There was longing there, hope and fondness, but also sadness. Dean averted his eyes and they remained like that for some time, just standing next to each other in the cold of the night, not speaking, just being.

* * *

At dawn’s first light they all got back into the cars and six hours later they stood in front of a massive mansion in the middle of nowhere.

»Are you sure this is the right place, brother? «, Benny asked, a deep frown on his face.

»It’s what Crowley told me. «, Dean shrugged. There was only one way to find out. »Right, I’m going in, Sam, Cas, Benny and Jo, you’re with me; the rest, stay put. This might be a trap. «, Dean said and approached the house without waiting to see if the others followed; he knew that they would. It had been an impulsive decision to take Jo but he felt like he had to do something; Cas was right, Jo was grieving for her parents and if blaming Dean made that easier, well, who was he to disagree with that? After all, it _was_ his fault. The huge gate to the house was open which suggested that they were being expected; Dean wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. And really, ‘house’, didn’t do the building any justice, it was more like a little castle and Dean felt more than just a bit out of place on the neatly cut lawn and the statues of Greek gods and goddesses. 

They entered the through the open front door and stood in a great hall made of marble, the walls were covered with expensive looking portraits and carpets. Dean quickly forced himself to concentrate back on the task at hand and motioned to the others that they should stay together while he led them forward into the next room; in any other house, he would have called this a living room, except that he really doubted this room had ever seen any living action. It was even bigger than the entrance hall, filled with old furniture, at the opposite wall he could see a fireplace under a major mirror, in front of it was an armchair and a couch on each side.

»You’re quite late. «, a female voice with a Scottish accent said. Dean immediately raised his gun and pointed it at the back of the armchair where the woman must be sitting.

»I wasn’t aware we had an appointment. «, he answered and carefully stepped sideways to round the chair.

»Put the gun down, you silly boy. «, Rowena said; Dean laughed darkly, _yeah right, like that’s gonna happen._ He thought. Finally, he stood next to the chair and saw her; Rowena seemed even smaller now than she had seemed 16 years ago when he had been a teenager but apart from that she was exactly the same. Her hair, flaming red was pinned up and her lips were painted in a dark red and she looked deeply unimpressed by the four Hunters and one Angel surrounding her. »Sit. «, she demanded and before Dean could do as much as blink, something knocked into the back of his knees and he fell onto the couch behind him, Cas and Benny were forced to sit next to him while Sam and Jo were on the other couch. »That’s better. «, Rowena chirped. »Now, I know that Fergus sent you. «

_Fergus?_ Dean was confused and he saw in the faces of his friends that they had no idea what was going on either. »No one sent us. «, he eventually said, causing the Witch to laugh loudly.

»Of course not. The famous Dean Winchester doesn’t take orders from anyone but himself. «

Dean frowned but decided that it would be best to ignore the comment. »We need your help. «, he said instead.

»My help? What makes you think I’d help you? «, she asked with an evil grin. It was Sam that answered, »Mutual interest. «, he said, »We want to find the Archangels to stop Lilith. You can’t tell me that you don’t want that. «

»Hmm, I have to admit I’m not a huge fan of Lilith. She has never been particularly nice to my kind and the last five years, well, they have been rather straining. «, she sighed in exaggerated exasperation and Dean took that as a sign that maybe this wasn’t a complete waste of time.

»We need to find and open Lucifer’s Cage, we believe that that’s where they Angels are kept. «

»Lucifer’s Cage? I always thought that was just a myth. «, she sounded genuinely interested now.

»It is not. «, Cas said. »My Father created the Cage as a prison for Lucifer after the Fall. However, it was never used until now. The Cage is the only place with enough power to hold four Archangels. «

There was a dangerous glittering in Rowena’s eyes before she grinned at Cas, »You must the Angel then. I’ve heard all about you, playing pet for the Winchesters, you and Balthazar. Heaven wasn’t pleased when you turned your back on them to be with your boyfriend. «

»Heaven should have never become a place of war. «, Cas shot back, Dean could practically see the anger in him, which made Rowena laugh even more.

»Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, tears and solitude. Not quite the mindless soldier anymore, are you? But then again, you never were. Always a trouble maker. «

»Who _are_ you? «, Dean asked incredulously. »How do you know all that stuff? «

»I’ve got my sources. How is John, by the way? «

»None of your business. «

»Oh, but it is. See, you want my help? You will play by my rules. «

And sadly, that was true, they needed the Witch to open the Cage.

»Our father is fine. «, Sam gritted through his teeth. »Now will you help us or not? «

»I will, «, Rowena said and Dean let out a breath of relief, »if - «, she added. »you agree to my conditions. «

And there it was. Of course, dean had known that there would be a price, he just hoped it wasn’t too high.

»What do you want? «, he asked.

»I want you to close the gates Heaven and Hell forever when this is over. «


	15. As Wicked As You Are, You’re Beautiful To Me

It took Dean a moment to process Rowena’s words.

»What? «, a unison five voices asked and Rowena rolled her eyes.

»The Gates of Heaven and Hell. They are open and I want them closed. «

»But, «, Dean started, »that’s impossible. «, he side – glanced at Cas, suddenly unsure. »isn’t it? «, he added. Cas’ face was unreadable but his silence was almost enough to answer the question. »Cas. «

»It is possible. «, the Angel said eventually. He didn’t say anything further and Dean was feeling very impatient right about now. »Oh, that’s alright, just don’t tell me too much about it. «, he grumbled and by the look on Cas’ face he knew that he actually got the sarcasm in Dean’s voice. It made him a little bit proud.

»I am sorry Dean but I don’t know much about this either. It was Metatron who wrote the Tablets and it was he who hid them. «

»And it is I who has them. «, Rowena spoke. There was an incredibly smug smile on her face, and Dean was suddenly glad that he was glued to this couch or otherwise he might have done something stupid. »I hear, you have a Prophet with you. Or at least someone who will be a Prophet soon. «

»What if we did? «, Dead asked defensively.

»As a Prophet, he will be able to read the Word of God. But of course, for that the current Prophet has to die. «, the wicked smile on her face didn’t falter and it sickened Dean how she seemed to enjoy the prospect of the death of an innocent person.

»Why? Maybe the current Prophet is going to help us. «

»I doubt that. Poor soul just couldn’t cope with the things he’s seen and heard. It drove him crazy. «

»Where is he? «

»Cheyenne Mental Health Institution. The closed ward. «

»Son of a bitch. «, Dean muttered. There was no way in hell he could break into a nuthouse to kill one of the patience just so they read the Word of God.

»You can always try and find another way to open the Cage. «, Rowena said nonchalantly but it was obvious that she knew they wouldn’t. They couldn’t. There was no one else.

»Shut your cakehole for a second, would ya? «, Dean snapped at her. »And let us the fuck go. We need to talk about this. «

With a shrug from Rowena, Dean could practically feel the invisible restrains lift and he sped up to his feet. They stood in the entrance hall or rather Sam, Benny, Cas and Jo stood in the entrance hall while Dean paced up and down the room.

»Fucking sick Witch, I can’t _believe_ she would even – I mean is she fucking _serious_? «, he rambled.

»Dean, calm down - «

»I am perfectly calm, Sammy, thank you very much. «

»Then stop pacing. You’re making me nervous. «, Sam muttered. »And anyway, what do we do? I mean obviously, we can’t just kill a guy so Kevin can become a Prophet. «, Dean was incredibly thankful that Sam agreed with him on this one.

»Why not? «, Jo asked coolly. »I mean it’s not like he’s any use for us, being in a loony and all. At least Kevin can help us. «

»You don’t mean that. «, Dean said. He was bit shocked how indifferent Jo seemed to all this.

»I do mean that. My parents had to die because of this stupid war, so why should he deserve to live? «, there was a hard edge to her voice and her eyes rested cold on Dean, meeting his for the first time since Ellen died.

»Jo, your mum - «

»Do _not_ speak about mum; you have no right. «

»That’s enough, Jo. «, Sam intervened. »It wasn’t Dean’s fault. Your mother was hurt and decided to stay behind in order to save our life. And we can’t just decide to take someone else’s because it’s convenient for us. «

»I could do it. «, Cas suddenly said quietly. His head was slightly tilted to one side, like he always did when he was thinking about something or found something especially interesting.

»Dammit Cas, no one asked for your opinion! «, Dean snapped and alright, maybe that was harsh but seriously? Cas and Dean stared at each other for a moment until Benny cleared his throat.

»This ain’t goin’ nowhere. «, he commented calmly. »But we need the Witch to find the Cage so I say we take the deal and then we figure out how we do it. «

For lack of better ideas, Dean nodded sharply and went back to Rowena to tell her that, yes, they would close the Gates.

»Wonderful. «, the woman cheered. »Then I’d better get to work on that spell for the Cage. «

* * *

Dean still wasn’t fully convinced when they went back outside to the others but he was glad he could get away from Rowena.

»So, what did she say? «, Mary asked. She seemed incredibly worried, even scared. Dean exchanged looks with the others, making sure they were on the same page, more or less, before answering, »She’ll help us. «, he just said, decidedly not explaining the further circumstances of that help. They didn’t need to know that: not yet at least.

»That’s good, right? «, Charlie asked although her eyes were fixed on Jo who seemed to be keeping her distance from Charlie and again, Dean felt guilt boiling up inside him.

»Yeah sure. That’s good. «, Dean answered. He could feel Sam’s judging eyes resting on him, probably because he didn’t tell them about the Gates, and turned towards his little brother; arching a brow, he held Sam’s gaze, waiting for the taller man to say something but he didn’t. After a moment, Sam turned away, but Dean wasn’t fooled. He knew that this discussion wasn’t over as much as postponed and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the moment when it would come.

»Dean. «

Dean nearly jumped ten feet when the gravelly voice sounded right next to his ear, »Goddamit, Cas! Stop sneaking up on people. «, he muttered after his heart had stopped beating out of his chest. »What’s up, man? «

There was a moment of silence in which Cas just watched him, his head tilted ever so slightly and ever so _Cas_ that Dean actually had to supress a chuckle.

»You did not tell them about Rowena’s demand. «, the Angel stated eventually.

»Yeah, no shit Sherlock. «

»I don’t understand. Why would you lie to them? «

»Well, _technically_ , I didn’t lie; I just chose to leave out certain details. «, Dean answered. He felt the odd urge to justify himself to Cas, which was stupid. He didn’t lie, period. And anyway, that was none of Cas’ goddam business.

»You’re afraid of their reaction. You see yourself in a position of charge which would make you responsible for them. By omitting the further circumstances of your deal with Rowena you are trying to protect the people you care about from the guilt that w ill inevitably accompany an innocent man’s death. «

Dean let out an uneasy laugh, trying to win back his composure which flew out of the figurative window with Cas’ deduction, »Man, «, he started, relieved that his voice was steady and confident. »Anyone ever tell you that it’s creepy when you do that? Read people? «

»It has been mentioned. «, the Angel deadpanned, except there was something…others might not see it, but after six years, Dean was an expert on Castiel – micro expressions and if it was just a glint in his eyes. Cas certainly wasn’t as humourless as he always tried to let others belief. Dean laughed, actually laughed, and it felt good and easy and he could see cracks in the motionless mask that was Cas’ face; fondness seeping into them. A twitch on the corners of his mouth before it shattered all together. Seeing Castiel laugh was like watching the sun rise; his hole face lit up and there was no trace left of the Angel in him and even while that thought occurred to Dean, he cringed at himself for the sappiness of it.

»You know, «, he said quietly after they had both calmed down. »You should definitely laugh more often. Looks good on you. «

And before he could as much as second guess himself for that statement, or worse, see Castiel’s reaction to it; he turned around and walked away, leaving Cas standing where he was.

* * *

A few hours later, Dean’s phone rang and Rowena told him that she had figured out the spell; Dean refrained from asking her how the hell she got his number, he probably shouldn’t be surprised by anything anymore.

»I am going to perform the spell, after you proved to me that you are planning on holding up your part of the deal. «

And that was just it; secretly, Dean had hoped that they might get away with it if they just pretended like they would close the Gates. Not that that wasn’t something he would want, quite contrary actually, closing the Gates of Heaven and Hell, sounded like a great plan, just not right now when they had a war to fight. Furiously biting his lips, Dean did some quick calculation; they weren’t all that far from Cheyenne.

»Alright. Give me those tablets and I’ll deal with it. «, he said gruffly. Unfortunately, Rowena was having none of that, »Don’t be daft; the Tablets stay where they are, as will the Prophet while I am going to wait until you live up - «; Dean never got to find out what he should live up to, because in that moment a lightning bolt shot down from the sky, into Kevin. Dean distantly registered that he let go of the phone which clattered onto the concrete, while he rushed forward towards the boy which now lay on the ground. »Kevin! Kevin! «, he all but shouted. Everyone around him was equally shocked and Dean quickly glanced around to see if anyone else was hurt, when he noticed that Cas was gone. Without even thinking about it, he did the first thing that came to his mind; he sent out a prayer.

_Castiel, you get your feathery ass back here, this instant because we could really do with your help!_

And indeed, one flutter of wings later, Cas stood next to him, tall and angelic, his eyes resting on Kevin. »He will be fine, Dean. «, he simply said. Dean stared at his friend, there was something that wasn’t adding up but he wasn’t sure what exactly and he couldn’t think about it right now because in that moment, Kevin stirred.  

»What just happened? «, the boy muttered. His eyes were still half closed and he was looking around in confusion.

»Good question, kiddo. «, Dean answered gently. »Was gonna ask you the same thing. «

Kevin blinked and starred at the floor, »Why am I lying - «, he started but then stopped, his eyes suddenly wide and no longer aimed at the street but at the house.

»Kevin? «, someone asked but Kevin didn’t seem to hear them. He got up to his feet and started walking towards the gate. »Fuck’s sake. «, Dean cursed and followed, just like everyone else.

Soon enough they stood once again in the entrance hall only now Rowena stood in the middle of it, small and yet huge. Her hands clasp around something that looked like stone board. _The Tablets,_ Dean thought.

»Well, well, well, I was almost worried that I couldn’t trust you. «, it would have been hard to listen to the smugness in her voice but Dean didn’t even notice it. What he did notice, was that Kevin’s eyes were fixed on the Tablets and that Cas stood in the background not at all surprised by what was happening. Very unlike everyone else who seemed completely lost. Something clicked in Dean’s head and he managed to refrain from shouting out in rage, only just so. Two determined steps brought him close to the Angel, so that he could grab his arm and yank him outside of the house again. With a loud _thud_ , Castiel’s back collided with the wall, their faces just inches apart from each other.

 »What the actual _fuck_ , man? «, Dean snarled. »What did you do? «

Castiel looked at him, calm and very unimpressed, »I think you know the answer to that question. «, the Angel answered.

»Oh, I know the answer, alright. And I think _I_ told you, not to do it. «

»You said no such thing. What you said was, and I quote, that ‘no one asked for my opinion’. I was doing you a favour, Dean. It was clear that you couldn’t have lived with yourself, knowing that you caused an innocent man to die. By not telling you about my action I saved you from that guilt. «

Dean laughed. He couldn’t help it; it was a bitter and dark sound, full of disbelief. »You can’t just - «, he stopped, shaking his head. »No, you know what? Fuck it. And fuck _you_. «

»My actions aren’t your responsibility, Dean. You cannot blame yourself for my decisions and I _am_ entitled to my own decisions. «

»Whatever. «

Dean stepped back abruptly to walk back into the hall. The thing was, that Cas was right. He could have never done it, let alone tell someone to do it. _But that’s not the fucking point,_ he thought furiously, _he shouldn’t have gone behind my back._ Of course, it wasn’t the first time that something like this happened. During the years, all of them had fucked up at one point or another, starting with Sam’s infamous deal with Crowley. _But this is Cas._ And that was the problem. It was Cas. 


	16. The end is knocking

One very short and possibly very edited explanation about what was going on by Dean to the others later, Rowena surprised him by actually announcing that she had found the spell they needed while Kevin sat in the study to work on the Tablets. Ever since Dean set his feet back into the house he could feel Sam’s eyes on him; a mixture of curiosity, exasperation and – pity? Of course, his little brother had worked out what was going on around the same time, Dean had, because after all, Sam had always been the smart one and it was possible that he also knew, or at least that he could imagine, what Dean’s and Cas’ conversation had been about. The Angel was there too but Dean demonstratively avoided looking at him.

»So, «, Bobby’s voice was rough and full of dislike, »You gonna do your magic, or wha’? We ain’t got all day, woman. «

»Patience, Bobby Singer. «, Rowena answered. She didn’t even look up from the book she was currently hovering over. »This is a delicate matter that I would like to survive and I’m sure your wee jolly friends would too. «

»What does that mean? « 

»Oh? Didn’t I tell you? I can’t just open the Cage. I can, however summon the Archangels into another Cage which they will be able to leave once they have a Vessel. «, Dean almost threw up at the sound of her sickening sweet voice and her words didn’t exactly help matters along.

»No. «, the stern, deep voice of Castiel suddenly said. Everyone turned around to look at the Angel.

»I’m sorry? «

»I said no. No one here is going to say yes; it would kill them. «

»That is not my problem. «

Rowena and Cas starred intensely at each other, neither willing to avert their gaze.

»Cas, what the hell are you talking about? «, Dean asked reluctantly; he was still angry.

»An Angel needs permission to enter a human’s body. «; Cas explained carefully. »But not everyone is able to hold that kind of power; most people burn out. There are – true Vessels – who are capable of seeing an Angel’s true form without dying and who can hear their voice but those are very rare. «

»Oh well, if it’s just that. «, Dean muttered in frustration, while Sam spoke up, »We still need to try. «

»I agree with Cassie for once. There is no guarantee that you will survive this. «, Balthazar said.

»So, what? That’s it? «, Dean asked. »We just give up? « He looked around waiting for someone to say something but no one did. No one except Cas. »We do not give up, Dean. We simply have to find another way - «

»There _is_ no other way, Cas! «, Dean said forcefully. »Look, you don’t have to like it, but we’re doing it. «

»Dean I can’t allow you to - «

»I don’t need you fucking permission. I am entitled to my own decisions, remember?. «, Dean almost shouted and that finally did the trick. Cas kept staring at him, hopelessness showing in his eyes. Sadness.

After that, no one seemed to dare say anything and the average consent was that they at least had to try. However, once Dean saw the pleased expression on Rowena’s face, he already regretted his choice but it was too late now. They were doing this.

* * *

Rowena had given them a list of ingredients she needed to perform the spell; which shouldn’t be too difficult, however, Rowena had also said that the Spell could only be performed in Limbo, the deepest part of Hell. The thought of going back to the Pit made Dean sick to his stomach and there was a twinge of fear and guilt somewhere deep inside him. The memory weighting heavy on his mind.

»How are we supposed to get in there? Surely, they’ll have all the gates covered, including the one in Purgatory. «, Mary asked but Rowena just kept smiling like she knew something they didn’t; which, admittedly, she probably did.

»Oh dear, what good does it do to have the King of the Crossroads on speed dial when you don’t even use it for your advantage. «

»Crowley? «

_How the hell does she know about that?_

»Crowley’s not going to help us. «

»Oh, but he is. «; and with that ominous statement, she walked out on them to join Kevin in the study. It didn’t exactly take long for them to find out; the sun was hanging low on the horizon, dousing the world in red and orange, when loud voices sounded from upstairs.

»- evil, manipulative bitch! I am Crowley and you do not get to tell me what to do! «

»You are my son! «

»You have no son! But I - «

Dean groaned and began massaging his temples. He was exhausted and frustrated and it annoyed him that he wasn’t even surprised anymore to hear that Rowena was Crowley’s mother. Apparently, everything was possible.

Kevin had fled the room as soon as Crowley had showed up and was now talking to Krissy and Ben in hushed voices; it was good seeing those kids together and while Dean watched them he could almost convince himself that they were okay. Ben watched Krissy with wide eyes while she seemed to be telling a story and Dean had to supress a smile; the boy was sporting the biggest crush on her.

»You okay there, son? «, it was the first time since John came back that he used that word. Son. It sounded foreign coming out of the man’s mouth.

»Sure. «, Dean said and immediately found himself sitting up straight, attentive, schooling his expression into the stern, hard mask he was so used to wearing he didn’t even notice he was wearing it anymore. Sam and Eileen had gone out, Dean could see Mary, Bobby and Jody going upstairs; Cas and Balthazar were nowhere to be seen and Dean realized that, maybe for the first time in years, John and he were completely alone.

»You’re doing good, Dean. «, John said and it took Dean a full minute to process the words. He blinked confused, _what?_

»Thank you, sir. «, he muttered, still avoiding to look at his father.

»No, none of that. I know you’ve got no respect left for me. «; bitterness in John’s voice, but he didn’t seem angry at Dean, no it was more like…regret? »And you probably shouldn’t. «

Now, Dean did look at him and he almost winced at what he saw. He hadn’t noticed the deep lines in John’s face, the dark bags under his eyes, the sadness in between. Dean frowned. He was completely lost for words, because what was he supposed to say to that? John had never showed weakness. Ever. He had always been strong, rigid and when he had been hurting he had turned it into violence and drunkenness. But John wasn’t drunk now.

»What do you want from me? «, he asked and, okay, that might not have been very sensible and certainly not what Dean had intended to say and it sounded way too defensive and rough but he wouldn’t take it back and John didn’t seem offended.

»Your mum always told me that my dad’s death changed me. And it did but it was the search for revenge that broke me in the end. I had something good and I threw it away, without even thinking about it. I knew what I was doing but I didn’t care because I was blind. The last years…they made me see again. When I came back, all those years ago, I came to make peace. I came to apologize to…to be the father that you deserved. «, Dean could see how difficult it was for John to say all that. He could see the struggle in his father’s face. »When you came back - «

»Dad, don’t. «, Dean interrupted weakly, he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to know what John saw that day; didn’t want to relive the memory.

»No, let me speak, «, John said softly. »When you came back I knew you got laid and I knew it wasn’t from a girl. You should have seen yourself, you were a mess. «, Dean was pretty sure he was imagining the ghost of a smile around the corners of John’s mouth. »I knew then that I wasn’t ready. I regret hitting you. I should have never done that but especially not that day. I can’t pretend that I understand it and I don’t have to like it but it’s your life and you’re my son and – Dean, just know that I am sorry and I am proud of you, okay? «. Dean was stunned. There was a pleading expression on John’s face, fear in his eyes like he was expecting Dean to reject him.

»Okay. «, Dean said. He wasn’t able to say much more, that whole conversation was just so plain _weird_ that he couldn’t process it completely, let alone question its meaning. But apparently, it was enough for John because the older Winchester got up and left the room, leaving Dean utterly, utterly confused.

* * *

Whatever Rowena had said to Crowley to convince him; it had worked. The King of the Crossroads was much grumpier than usual but he was there and that was good enough with Dean. At least for now.

»So, you’ll take us to Hell, then? «, Sam asked.

»I will. Four of you can come with me to play meatsuit to the birds, Rowena will perform the spell and I’ll be on the lookout. «, the way he said it, made it perfectly clear that it was Rowena’s plan and hat he was Not Okay with it. Dean wondered what kind of deal they had made.

»And what’s in it for you? «, Jo asked. She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

»Life. «.

It was a cryptical answer but it was probably everything they would get from the Demon.

»Once you have freed the Archangels and killed Lilith, the Gates of Hell must be closed; the Angels will return to Heaven and you put a lock on that as well. «, Rowena explained. They hadn’t talked about that part yet but Kevin had translated the Tablets more or less completely. Dean didn’t like what they said but it wasn’t like he had a saying in that so he wouldn’t complain.

They agreed to leave the next day and what followed was a long, exhausting discussion on who would be a vessel to the Angels.

»Maybe I should have mentioned that four of you are already destined to the job. «, Rowena said at some point.

»What? What are you even talking about? «

»The Winchesters are direct descendants of Cain and Abel which makes them perfect hosts for stray Angels. «

»Oh well, there’s that then. «, Dean muttered under his breath and didn’t even bother listening anymore. No one stopped him when he went upstairs and fell onto the first bed he found to fall asleep.


	17. Please don’t question why

When he had woken up, Cas had not been there.

When he had come downstairs in search for coffee, Cas had not been there.

When they had had the last conversation about their trip to Hell, Cas had not been there.

Dean had never noticed how much he actually missed the Angel until now. He wanted Castiel to be here with him, he wanted Cas to wish him good luck, he wanted to tell how much he meant to him before it was too late.

Dean certainly wasn’t stupid. He was well aware that the probability for him to get out of this alive was low. Like, really low.

»Hello boys. «, Crowley stood in the middle of the entrance hall, looking like he always did.

»Crowley. «

They were all there. All except John. Dean frowned and looked around, searching but the man was nowhere to be seen.

»Where’s dad? «, he asked Sam in a low voice. Sam, too, scanned the room before he shrugged. »Probably cold feet. «

»John won’t be coming. «, everyone turned around at Castiel’s voice. Dean hadn’t noticed him coming back but he undoubtfully was. »I am. «

»What? «, someone asked in exasperation and it took Dean a moment to realize it had been him. »Cas, you can’t. «. He distantly noticed the panic in his own voice but he didn’t care.

»Dean. «.

The two men stood in the middle of the entrance hall, which was suddenly rapidly emptying itself until it was just Cas and Dean. The Angel and the Hunter.

»Cas it’s too dangerous. You could die. «

»So, could you. «, the simplicity of Cas’ statement hit Dean with full force and he shook his head.

»Doesn’t matter. I’m just…and you’re…«, he was looking for words that seemed to be slipping his mind as soon as he was about to grab them but Cas understood. Of course, he understood because he always did. Cas narrowed his eyes and tiled his eyes, like he always did when he was figuring something out.

»Dean, your soul is the most beautiful and purest thing I have ever laid eyes on, and yet you don’t seem to think for one second that you are worth living. «

»Cas, come on, man. «, Dean almost whispered. Cas’ words hit a little too close to home tghan he'd liked to admit and he wasn’t sure how to react to them. Of course, he wasn't worth it, how could he? »You can’t just throw that at someone. «

»Is it not true? «, Cas asked. His voice was calm but there was a fire inside that told Dean just how angry the Angel was.

»Cas - «

»Is it, Dean? «

»Of course, it’s fucking true! «, Dean shouted. »What do you expect, Cas? All my life I’ve been training to be a Hunter, I never had the chance to be anything else and I failed! I failed, Cas! This is my fault! Do you get that? I’m the one who broke it so I’m the one who’s going to fix it and when I die in the progress, well, it’s not like that’d be a great loss. «, he was breathing heavy now, the anger waning as fast as it had risen.

»And what about your family? Your friends? What about me? «, Cas asked now.

»You? What about you? You’re gonna fuck of to Heaven as soon as all this is over and I can’t blame you. «, _I blame me, I blame me._ He thought frantically because he didn’t want Cas to leave.

Now it was Cas who looked confused, uncomprehending. »Why would I do that? «, he asked puzzled.

»Well, aren’t you? «

»No, Dean. Never. « _Here we go,_ Dean thought. They’d been dancing around this for weeks, months, probably years. »Dean…you asked me what I fight for and I said I wasn’t sure, but I am. It’s you, Dean. I fight for you. «

Dean swallowed. He wasn’t exactly surprised; he wasn’t stupid, but hearing it was something different than just expecting it.

»You really shouldn’t. «, Dean croaked.

»That is my decision to make. «, Cas replied. »Dean, I do not expect you to reciprocate my feelings but I expect you to listen because you should know. Dean, that I feel. I want. It’s something I am not accustomed to but I am not afraid of it. Desire, lust, love. It’s there and it’s beautiful. «, Cas was looking at him, no, into him and there was so much in his eyes, so much hope and honesty and _goodness_ and Dean was scared.

»Cas, I – I don’t – you can’t - «, _I wouldn’t deserve you. I would never be good enough for you. You have to live and you have to be happy and healthy and you couldn’t do that with me._ »I don’t want you to come with us, Cas. I don’t want you to get hurt. «, he was dimly aware that he was probably repeating himself.

»Then I won’t. But I’m not going to let you go alone, Dean because _I_ don’t want _you_ to get hurt. «

Dean was just about to reply when someone cleared their throat behind them. Dean looked around and saw Crowley standing in the doorway, »You two lovebirds finished or do you need a little quality time alone? «, the Demon asked with a sly smirk.

»Fuck off, Crowley. «, Dean barked. »We’re coming. «. He turned back to Cas but the moment was gone.

»You don’t need to say anything, Dean. «, Cas almost whispered. They stood only inches apart and Dean wanted to reach out, wanted to feel Cas’ skin on his, wanted to do something, anything. But he couldn’t. »Just, remember. «. Cas’ voice was soft but it was impossible to say what he was thinking as he walked passed Dean, their hands brushing against each other and then he was gone and Dean found himself with a thick lump in his throat before he followed.

It was snowing when Dean stepped outside and the others were already waiting for him. Sam, Adam, Cas, Rowena and Crowley; four dark figures in the snow-covered ground. Without even realizing what he was doing, Dean made a beeline to stand next to Cas, which earned him an amused look from Sam but at least his brother didn’t say anything.

»So, «, Adam said, »How do we get in? «

»Through the door. «.

They all took each other’s hands and Dean felt a jolt of excitement and embarrassment when his fingers closed around Cas’ warm skin. It felt good, sort of right, holding this hand and Dean wondered why he hadn’t done it before. If he could do it again.

* * *

Dean was used to it by now. The hot spurt of Grace rushing through his body; feeling like the part of something greater, something huge; closing his eyes and when he opened them again they stood on the top of a building, looking down on the skyline of New York. They all let go of the hands they were holding, that was all except Dean and Cas didn’t pull away. It was silly, really, but he could feel himself blushing and he was more than grateful for the distraction.

»Wow. «, Sam looked actually awestruck and Dean had to smile fondly at his little brother.

»Yes, yes very impressive but we’re not here for sightseeing. «, Crowley snapped and if Dean didn’t know any better, he would say that the Demon looked nervous.

They walked off the roof and Dean reluctantly let go of Cas’ hand. The inside was…surprising. There wasn’t a staircase, just a long corridor and Dean suddenly realized that they had entered Hell, just like that.

»Seriously? You made us go through Purgatory when we could have just used this? «, he asked highly annoyed.

»Staff entrance. «, Crowley answered shortly.

»Right. So, where we headed then? «

»The deepest circle of Hell, squirrel. Might want to grab that hand again. «

Dean glared at Crowley’s back but didn’t respond otherwise; he could feel Sam’s eyes on him but he ignored those too and rather walked down the corridor without even quite knowing where he was going. Hell was…different. Compared to what he remembered from last time this was more like he would have imagined it; everywhere they went there was the distant of screaming souls, the sickening smell of blood, endless corridors filled with darkness and cold.

Dean couldn’t tell how long they went on, it was a blurry haze of secret passages if the lack of Demons was anything to go by. They probably had Crowley to thank for that because no matter how reluctant he was to do this, he did a good job at leading them through Hell without getting caught by Lilith or her henchmen.

* * *

Limbo, as it turned out, was literally one of the deepest parts of Hell. At first, he hadn’t noticed that they were slowly going downhill but as the air got damper and screams of agony fainter, it was hard to miss. The narrow tunnel which they had gone through ended and had the feeling that he was suddenly standing in nothingness. He looked up but there was no ceiling, just darkness. He could see cages hanging in mid-air and he wondered how they could stay there before he remembered that this was hell. Anything was possible.

»One of those is Lucifer’s Cage? «, he asked curiously.

»No, those are much smaller. Weaker. No one quite knows where the real Cage actually is. «, Crowley answered. Dean felt a shudder running down his spine; it was surreal, imagining a Cage in another dimension, inaccessible, hidden.

»Well, great. «. Dean muttered under his breath. »How are we gonna do this, then? «

Because they had never actually talked about this part of the plan; the part where they would summon the Archangels and pose as their Vessels.

»You’re going to give me some space for one thing, bonny lad. «. Rowena said. »It’s not like I’m doing this kind of thing every day. «

There was a cage standing on the ground on few yards away and Dean watched as the Witch approached it confidently. They stayed back, waiting but Dean couldn’t really concentrate on what she was doing; his mind was racing. Faces, words, feelings rushing through him.

_You’re doing good, Dean._ John’s voice echoed through his head. _I’m proud of you._

He knew now, that his father had been saying goodbye and it left him with a weird feeling of sadness. Sure, he and John had had their problems but they were still father and son and Dean was angry. He didn’t even know why because this was his live and people left on a daily basis but John had never had the courtesy to say goodbye; had never apologized for anything in his life. Dean realized just how much he still loved the man that had never been there for him. Hs eyes fell on his two brothers. Sam and Adam were standing a few feet away, talking in hushed voices and his heart began to ache. What if they didn’t make it out of this alive? What if one of them got hurt? Could he ever forgive himself for that? For dragging them into this mess? Especially Adam who had the chance to get out, to have a life far away from Demons and Angels? It was a rhetorical question of course, because Dean could already not forgive himself for the things he’d done. Bill, Ellen and all the others. And then there was Cas. Cas who had given up everything for him and for what? He didn’t understand what Cas might possibly see in him, what he thought there was that was worth fighting for. The truth was…he needed Cas. That was a realization that should have made him uncomfortable or scared but oddly enough, it didn’t. Maybe he had always known, always felt that way. He remembered the moment he had first seen Castiel, the rush of admiration, mixed with the adrenaline in his blood. The way the Angel had stood over him, pure and protective.

_I feel. I want._

_O god, Cas, I do too._ He finally admitted to himself and maybe it wasn’t much but in this very moment it was everything because who knew if they would survive this. Dean found himself searching for the Angel. His Angel. And Cas was right there, standing in the middle of this darkness, upright and powerful and as if he had felt Dean’s eyes on him he turned around. It was silent understanding and Dean thought that he finally got what Cas had meant when he had said that his feelings were calling out to him and for once he was actually grateful for it. They shared a quick smile before Rowena announced that she was ready for he Spell.

* * *

The flames lit up all around them as they stood in the cage and it was hard to actually see something through the smoke. Dean felt nervous now that he was this close to being possessed by an Archangel and he unconsciously sought out Cas who was standing next to him. He could hear Rowena chanting the Spell and there was a shift in the air and he knew they weren’t alone anymore.

_Dean Winchester,_ Dean wasn’t sure at first if he had really heard the voice. _Dean Winchester._ Yeah, it was definitely there. Calm and deep, a bit like Cas’ voice but still different, sounding through his head.

_Yes,_ Dean answered. _Who are you?_

_I am Michael, the oldest of the Archangels._

Great _,_ well at least it seemed to be working. _Listen, Michael, we kind of need your help and…well…came to rescue you._

_What do you require help with?_

_The Demon Lilith, the one that locked you up in here, she’s taken over Earth and Heaven and Hell and we can’t let that happen._

_I could help you._

_Yeah, I know._

_I need your consent, Dean. You need to say yes._

And Dean wanted to say it, had the word already at the tip of his tongue but something held him back.

_What’s gonna happen if I do?_

_I will take over your body._

_Will I be conscious?_  

_If you wish._

Good. That was good. He could stay in control at least partly.

_Will you leave, once Lilith’s gone?_

_Of course, Dean. You have my word._

_Then yes. I’ll be your Vessel._


	18. How Can I Ever Trust Myself?

Dean felt…weird. He wasn’t even sure what had changed, just that he felt different, distantly aware that there was something important, something…something…

Sam, Adam and Cas were standing in front of him but they didn’t look like they usually did, their faces way too hard, lacking any emotions and their eyes too foreign like they belonged to someone else and maybe they did.

»It is time, brothers. The abomination Lilith will be smitten from this earth once and for all. «, and that was his voice, coming out of his mouth, but Dean couldn’t remember forming the words or thinking them or – _Michael_ , he suddenly remembered. Of course, how could he forget?

»It’s a shame, really. «, Cas’ voice sounded so different. It was higher, softer with a mocking undertone that spoke of pride and confidence. »I always liked her, you know…being my first and all«

»Shut up, _Lucy_. Your pet is the reason we’re in this mess. «, Gabriel said, using Sam’s body and Dean had no idea how he knew it was Gabriel but Michael knew and there were things, thoughts, in his head that weren’t his own, weren’t supposed to be there but there were and –

»Well, well, well, if this isn’t a sight for sore eyes. «.

Lilith stood in front of the cage, next to her two Demons, towering over the bodies of Rowena and Crowley. Dean could see her face but even more he saw the grimace underneath, barely human, staring at him. It was unlike evrything he had ever seen, ancient and decayed. Dean could feel how Michael tensed up, could sense the surprise rushing through the Archangel’s Grace. He had not expected this. And neither had Dean. There was someone else, a man. Dean couldn't see his face, couldn't recognize him, he just saw shapes in colours he had no names for, everchanging, swirling and creating knew forms. Dean didn't know why but something inside him broke. something told him that this was wrong although he didn’t know what because – because – Dean’s thoughts were interrupted by Michael taking charge now and Dean struggled to stay awake. He didn’t want to be shut off, wanted to know what was happening.

»Lilith. «, Michael spoke. »How dare you go against us? «

»That was too easy. «, Lilith said. »you felt so secure, so untouchable. Someone had to show you the truth; that _nothing_ is ever safe. I spent so much time planning my revenge and now I finally have it and there is nothing you can do about it. «, she was laughing, a cold, mad laugh and Dean could feel Michael’s disgust or maybe it was his own, burning hot through his veins. »Samuel, do me the honour. «

The man next to the Demon stepped forward and the closer he got the blurrier Dean’s vision seemed to get, like there was something keeping him from recognizing him. Samuel. He knew that name, should know that name, why did he – why didn’t he – Dean was trying hard to remember but something held him back, like an invisible door inside his mind, making him blind. _No, no stop it!_ But it was like Michael couldn’t hear him, didn’t want to hear him. The man, Samuel, stepped forward, Angel Blade in his hand and Lilith was smiling a horrible, malicious smile.

»Whatever you think you have accomplished, it is worthless. We are going to take back our rightful place in Heaven and you are going to pay for your crimes. «

»Words, words, words. Talking about worthless, that is very high on the list. Don’t you agree, Lucifer? «, she turned towards the other Angel standing in the shadow.

»Totally, Lils. Still, I am very cross with you for locking me into the Cage. That wasn’t really nice. «

»And since when do you care about nice? «

»I created you. «

»You ruined me! Centuries of hatred. Punishment. You took away my life and made me into this and you never thought I might get back at you? How foolish are you? «

»Lilith. «, Lucifer’s voice was dangerously low now, merely a whisper but Dean could understand every word. »You are the foolish one to think that I’d let you. «. He had his Blade in his hand and there was something like remorse in his eyes. Gabriel stepped next to him and the two brothers shared a quick glance before they both snapped their fingers and the two Demons next to Lilith exploded. Lilith let out a cry of rage before she screamed »Kill them, Samuel! « and the man next to her charged, attacking Lucifer with the Angel Blade in his hand. Dean wanted to shout, wanted to throw himself at Samuel because that was _Cas_ he was attacking and he could feel Michael burning up with anger and before he even knew what was happening his body was moving, moving towards the stranger that shouldn’t be one and he could see his hand rising and his voice speaking words he couldn’t understand and there was blood on the Blade he didn’t even know he was holding and the man lying on the floor, bleeding out, coughing and groaning in pain and Lilith laughing.

»No one, gets to kill my brother but me. «, Michael said.

»Excuse me, brother, that’s not a nice thing to say either. «, Lucifer said but something had changed. Dean could feel it, could feel the anger shift to affection as he looked at Lucifer, his brother, his family. Lilith seemed to feel it too because she had stopped laughing, her eyes jumping from one Archangel to another like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

They moved as one, circling the Demon in their midst and she seemed _scared_. Dean wasn’t sure what was happening, wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he knew that he had just done something terrible. He closed his eyes and let Michael take over.

* * *

»Dean! Dean wake up! «

Dean was distantly aware of the voice calling his name. It was familiar voice. He also felt like he was lying on something hard and cold, his whole body aching and is brain fel like it had just been thrown into a blender.

»Dean! «

»Shuddup, bitch. «, he muttered, his voice vibrating through his head which made him wince in pain. He cracked one eye open and saw Sam’s shaggy, long hair falling into his face and his brother was laughing with relief.

»You scared the shit outta me. «

»Sissy. «

Dean finally managed to open both of his eyes and was surprised to see that he couldn’t really see anything. Where were they?

»Dean. «, oh, he knew that voice as well; would recognize it out of thousands of voices.

»Cas. «, he croaked and carefully turned his head to look at the Angel. It really was Cas, not Lucifer. »Cas, I gotta tell you, I do too. «.

There was a second in which Cas just stared at him in confusion as if he didn’t know what Dean was talking about before it dawned on him and the smile on Cas’ face was everything Dean wanted to see for the rest of his life. Or something like that. He couldn’t quite think straight.

»Alright Romeo, we need to get out of here. «, Sam pulled him back into reality and okay, there was still the problem that Dean had no idea where they were.

»What happened? «

»Do you seriously not remember? «

»I - «, he had been about to say that he didn’t. That he had no idea but as soon as he sat up and saw the bodies on the ground and the cage he remembered. »Shit. «

»Yeah, pretty much. «, that was Adam. Dean allowed himself another moment to breath calmly because they were alive. They were all alive and alright and – »Samuel. «

»There it is. «, Sam muttered under his breath, while he helped Dean back up on his feet. Their grandfather’s body lay just a few feet away, covered in blood and Dean felt like he might fall back down on the ground yet again. His legs were shaking, unwilling to support the weight of his body as Dean stared at Samuel in utter disbelief. _I did this,_ he thought _, I killed him_.

»Come on, Dean. We need to leave. «

Dean nodded numbly and let Sam lead him towards the corridor which would get them out of Hell.

* * *

It took them hours to get back to Wyoming because Cas was worn out and looked like he might fall over any second and Balthazar had returned to Heaven with the other Angels now that their brothers were back.

»Oh my god! You’re alive. You did it! «, a pair of arms flung themselves around Dean suddenly he had a bunch of red hair in his eyes and mouth as Charlie nearly hugged him to death. »Easy there, kiddo. Still need my lungs. «, Dean joked but he returned the hug nevertheless. People were watching them, some smiling, some crying but the one person, Dean wanted to see at the moment, wasn’t there.

»Where’s mum? «, he asked as soon as Charlie had let go of him. Her smile faltered.

»Dean - «

»Where is she! «, he almost shouted and pushed his way into the house. The entrance hall was empty, so was the living room and the study. Frantically, Dean searched one bedroom after another but Mary wasn’t there, he couldn’t find her she was –

»Mum! «, his mum kneeled on the floor, a woman standing next to her, one hand comfortably laid on Mary’s shoulder. »Mum? «, he asked timidly. The blonde woman spun around, her face swollen red and wet with tears but when she saw her son standing in the door she rushed towards him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Dean blinked his own teas away, his eyes roaming the room. »Meg? «, he asked in disbelief. »I thought you were dead. «

Meg chuckled. »Nah, takes more than a Demon bitch to take me out, Winchester. «, she joked but there was something in her eyes. Something not quite adding up. There was sadness. That’s when he saw the body on the floor. Dean pushed his mother away from him and approached the man lying there, slowly, carefully. He knew what he would see, maybe even expected it but that did not prepare him for the sight of his dead father. »Dad. «, he almost choked on his own voice.

»I’m so sorry, honey. «, Mary whispered.

»What happened? «

»The trials. John was closing the Gates of Hell but they drained him. The last trial…he couldn’t take it. He died right before you got here. «

Dean felt cold. His mind was refusing to process the things he was seeing. »No, no it can’t be. «, he muttered, shaking his head in denial.

»I’m sorry, Dean. He’s dead. «, Mary’s voice was soft and calm. »It’s done. The Gates are closed. «.

Dean felt like crying. Like he wanted to crawl under a blanket and pretend like he was four years old again and never face the world for another second. Wanted to scream and shout and punch the walls and he realized he had started laughing like he had lost his mind and maybe he had. He was a mad man.

»Dean? «, Mary looked outright scared now, scared of Dean and that was what brought him back because that was wrong. His mum shouldn’t be scared of him.

»It was all for nothing. «, Dean whispered. »Crowley and Rowena are dead. The Deal was off. «. His words were followed by silence because there was nothing that could be said. Nothing that could make this alright. Nothing that would bring John back.


	19. On the other shore, there’s the end of the war

Dean slept. No, he dreamed.

_He was back in Purgatory, fighting one monster after another and he was all alone. Running through the grey, covered in mud and blood; he was searching for something. Someone. He could hear the river running through the woods; a little piece of paradise in a world of horror, the stale air burning in his lungs and there he was, standing at the shore, looking like heaven._

_»Cas! «, he cried out and the other man smiled sadly. »Cas! «. He started running but his feet wouldn’t move. Started shouting but no word came out of his mouth._

_»I’m sorry, Dean. «, Cas said before he turned around and waded into the water. Dean watched in horror as his Angel sank deeper and deeper, his clothes soaking wet and he didn’t stop, just kept going until the water reached his chin and he kept walking –_

»Cas! «, Dean woke up with a strangled cry, his shirt damp from cold sweat. It took him a moment to remember where he was. What had happened.

The mansion in Wyoming. Rowena. Hell. Lilith. Dad.

Dean swallowed hard. He had sat at his brothers’ beds until they had fallen asleep, listened to the steady rhythm of their breaths before going to his own room. He had wanted to be alone, had wanted to think in silence except now he thought that that might not have been a good idea. That had been two days ago.

It was over. They had won, should have won but to Dean it didn’t feel like victory. It felt like a nightmare. There were too many dead bodies, too much guilt, too much loss. And it was all his fault.

»Dean? «, Dean jerked round at the sound of the voice, half expecting Cas to stand in the room. But it wasn’t Cas. It was his mum, sitting in a chair in the corner; watching him.

»Mum. What are you doing here? Why aren’t you sleeping? «

»Couldn’t. «, Mary answered. She stood up and walked towards the bed, sitting down next to Dean. »You wanna talk about it? «, she asked and for one ridiculous second, Dean wanted to ask about what exactly, but he didn’t. Instead he just shook his head. Talking wouldn’t make any of it better. Wouldn’t change anything.

He didn’t fall asleep again and when he finally decided to get out of bed, it was rather a favour for his mum than anything else. He was going through the motions, his body on autopilot, without really caring for anything he did. Adam hadn’t said a word since he had learned of their father’s death, Sam buried himself in books and sports and everyone else seemed to be at a loss. No one quite knew what they were supposed to do now. Hell was closed, Meg was human now, adapting to her new-found life. Heaven was closed too, according to Kevin who had lost any sort of connection to his Prophet powers and Cas – _yeah, let’s not go there._ Dean told himself over and over again but he couldn’t stop the train of thoughts. Cas had left right after they had arrived at the mansion, taken off to Heaven without saying goodbye. Without even looking back. Oddly, that was the worst part in all this mess because Dean had started to open up to the idea of…something.

They all sat in the living room, doing nothing when it suddenly got silent. It wasn’t like anyone had been talking but there had been the occasional sound of paper when Sam had turned the page of his book, the rustle of clothes, a dry sob. Then it stopped, like everyone had stopped breathing. Dean looked up and his own breath got caught in his throat.

Right there, in the middle of the room, stood Castiel. Alive and – well, looking like shit. His trench coat was rather black than beige, torn and wet from the snow. Dark, heavy nags were visible under his eyes and he looked tired; a look that Dean had never seen on him.

»Hello, Dean. «, Cas said in a steady voice.

»Cas. «, Dean almost choked on the word. This wasn’t real. It was dream. Just a dream, Cas couldn’t possibly be here. »What are you doing here? I thought you were back in Heaven? «

»Why would you think that? «

»Because you left. «, Dean didn’t even try to keep the bitterness out of his voice because, hell, he was fucking hurt.

»I came back. «

»Why? «

»Does that really need answering? «

Dean realized that he was standing in front of Cas now and when the hell had he left the comfort of the sofa? He also realized that everyone in the room was watching them.

»No, I guess it doesn’t. «, Dean muttered. He stared at Cas and Cas was staring right back at him and there was something different about him. »You’re human. «. It wasn’t a question and Cas didn’t bother to answer. It was obvious in the way the man held himself, the way his face showed emotions, Dean didn’t even know he had. »Cas, I - «, god, there was so much he wanted to say but the words left him before he had the chance to speak, except he had to because Cas was _scared._ Dean could see it in his eyes but that was wrong because Castiel was never scared. Ever. »What I said in Hell - «, he stopped again. Why was this so difficult?

»It’s okay, Dean. I understand. «, Cas interrupted. He sounded genuine but his eyes betrayed him.

»No, no I don’t think you do. «, Dean shook his head. »I – that is – urgh, shit. «, he swore, rubbing his hand over his neck. His face felt hot and he knew that he was blushing furiously, he knew that he must look ridiculous with all that stammering and awkwardness and goddammit, _why_ was he acting like a twelve-year-old girl? »Ah, fuck it. «, Dean muttered and surged forward before he lost his nerves again. Cas’ lips were hot and soft against his own, tasting like honey and coffee and Dean closed his eyes, painfully aware that every last pair of eyes on the room was fixed on them but he honestly couldn’t care less. This was good. This was _right_. It wasn’t a particular long kiss but when Dean drew back he was panting and he could feel his own racing heartbeat in his chest. »I meant it, Cas. «, he muttered, his forehead pressed against Cas’ »I do, too. I love you. «

And there it was…the l – word…the one word he had never, not once in his 32 years, said to anyone, ever, unless you counted his parents and brothers, which Dean definitely didn’t. But it was alright. The world didn’t stop turning and Dean still felt the same, he had just said something that they both had known anyway. Cas smiled and it was like the darkness was draining from his face.

»Idjits. «, Bobby muttered behind their backs and somehow that broke the spell. Dean and Cas slowly broke the contact and Dean could hear movement behind him but he didn’t look. Not yet.

* * *

Explaining everything that had happened took longer than Dean would have expected but there were still so many things unclear, lose ends that needed knotting up.

»So what? Lucifer is back to being the King of Hell but he’s no longer the prodigal son of Heaven? «, Sam asked doubtfully.

»Basically, yes. Michael has agreed to give him a second chance and the other Angels agreed, however, only under the condition that both Heaven and Hell had to be secluded from Earth in order to eliminate the danger that is Lucifer. «

»And you offered yourself? «

»It needs the Grace of an Angel to close the gates of Hell. I was happy to be that Angel. «, Dean caught Cas’ eyes and held his gaze for a moment. No one had said anything yet about their new found…thing…relationship or whatever and Dean wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

»What are you gonna do now? «, Dean asked.

»Well, I – uh - «, the weirdest thing was that Cas actually seemed embarrassed now, a look that Dean would have never imagined to see on the (former) Angel’s face. »I was hoping that I could go Hunting with you. «, Cas muttered without meeting Dean’s eyes which had widened in surprise.

»Dude! Of course you could. That’d be awesome. «, Dean said because it would. Cas Hunting with them meant Cas staying. Cas being with him. It meant he could protect Cas. »You, Sam’n me! «

»Yeah, er…about that - «, Sam started. He was blushing, his eyes fixed on the floor. »I don’t think I’ll be Hunting anymore. «

»What? Why? «

»Look, Dean…I know you think this is it, that Hunting is endgame but I just can’t accept that. Eileen and I…we’ve been talking about…you know? Getting out. I want to go to college. I want a normal life and now that this shit is over…maybe I can. «

Dean didn’t know what to say to that; he looked around, hoping that somebody else might say something but no one did. In fact, they didn’t seem surprised at all and Dean wondered how long they had known already. »That – that’s great, Sammy. «, Dean did his best to put on his most charming, most convincible smile. And failed. It wasn’t like he didn’t think Sam didn’t deserve this, because he fucking did. The kid was a genius. Still, imagining to live a life without Sam nearby was weird and Dean wasn’t sure if he could do it. »That’s great. «, he muttered again before standing up and leaving the room.

»Dean, wait! «

But Dean didn’t wait. He heard Sam calling after him but he just kept walking; he couldn’t deal with this right now. Without even realising it, Dean’s feet had carried him into one of the bedrooms. _The_ bedroom _._ The one in which his father had died. The one in which he was still lying on the bed, his eyes closed, his skin pale, making him look like he was asleep.

It didn’t take long for Sam to find him, sitting at John’s side, watching the motionless face of the older man.

»Dean. «, his brother said cautiously. Dean didn’t react so Sam just sat down next to him and together they looked at their father.

»He came to me, you know. «, Dean suddenly said. »Before he left to do the trials, he came to me and said that he was sorry. That he was proud of me. He never said that before. «

»He came to me too. «, Sam muttered. »Actually, it was him that said I should try and move on. He said he was wrong to force us into this life and he was. We should have had a choice. I’m making that choice now. I choose to leave, not because of you. But because I want to be happy. Maybe that’s selfish but…it feels good. You should try it sometimes. «

»What’s that supposed to mean? «, Dean asked and turned his head to look at his brother. Sam gave him his best bitch face before rolling his eyes. »Cas? «, he said. »You two are good together. Always have been and Dean, I’m not blind, neither am I stupid. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you and you need each other. «

»I need you, too. «

»No, you don’t. «, Sam’s face was kind now, soft and he was smiling. »You don’t need me. You’re just used to me being around. And it’s not like I’m out of the world; I’ll still be there, just not here. «

»Were will you go? «, Dean asked. He was genuinely interested but mainly he didn’t want to hear those things Sam had to say.

»I was thinking Stanford. I can study law and Eileen wants to become a teacher. «

Dean nodded at that. Yes, he could actually see his brother in a court room.

»It’s a long way from home. «, he noted.

»It is. What about you? «

»What about me? Look, Sammy. I get it, I really do. This ain’t your life and you want out and that’s cool. But I couldn’t – there’s still so much shit out there and yeah, Heaven and Hell might be closed but…I can’t just turn my back and walk away and if Cas was being honest down there, neither can he. «. _I’m a Hunter. It’s my job to protect people._ He thought.

»Then there’s your answer. «, Sam said. He was still looking at Dean and it seemed like he was trying to decide whether he should say more. »Just… do me a favour, okay? Let yourself be happy. You deserve it. «

Dean didn’t say anything to that because what could he possibly say. He just shook his head and turned his eyes back to John.

»We need to give him a funeral. «, Dean said after a while and Sam nodded. »Yeah, «, he said. »We do. «

* * *

It had stopped snowing. The air was cold and dry, the sky ice blue and they all stared into the flames feeding on John’s body. Dean and Sam stood on each side of their mum, hands clutched at each other. Dean’s other hand was holding Cas’, giving him comfort. Strength. It was weird; so many had died, so many lives had been destroyed but somehow this last one was the worst. An unnecessary self – sacrifice. The flames slowly died down but no one said a word because there was nothing left say. It was truly over now.

»Are you okay? «, Cas’ voice was deep and calming and Dean shuddered lightly. He nodded, not taking is eyes off the pyre. »I am. «, he answered and he meant it. Yes, his father had died, but he had lost John much sooner than that. Dean was okay. He had his family. He had Cas. And there was nothing more he needed. He was okay and maybe someday, he would be more than that. Maybe someday, he would be happy.


	20. Here I Am, On The Road Again

There were situations and then there were _Situations._

The one Dean currently found himself in, was definitely of the latter kind and he could practically hear Cas’ voice telling him, »I told you so. «. God, what he would give to actually hear that voice right about now. It could have been worse though, he supposed. For example, he could he be already dead; he wasn’t, so that was a pro…and it was about the only pro he could find.

Dean’s wrists hurt. They were bruised and bloody in their ropes as he quite literally hung from the ceiling. Mandy was smiling at him. It could have been a nice smile, seductive, charming…something like that, except the bloody knife in the Valkyrie’s hand made the whole thing a bit less attractive and lot more psycho. He just hoped that Cas would hurry the fuck up.

»My brave hero. My soldier. «, the woman said. She was small and looked young, her long blond hair framing her face. »Don’t you worry, I will take good care of you. You’re fight is over. « Yeah…that was worrisome.

Finding the rogue Valkyrie had been easy enough. She hadn’t exactly been subtle in the way she took people and yet…Dean had not intended to be her next victim.

He strained against his chains, drool dripping down his chin around the gag in his mouth.

»You pretty, pretty boy. «, Mandy whispered and stroked his cheek with tender fingers – »Step away from him! «

Mandy swivelled around, her eyes wide in shock as she stared at black shape standing in the bright afternoon shining through the door. Dean would have laughed, except he couldn’t but that was okay. Cas was here and he was _pissed_.

»That is a fair warning, Valkyrie. Leave him alone and I will not harm you. «

»And if I don’t? What are you going to do? You can’t kill me! «

»No I can’t. But I can cast you back to where you came from. «

»No! No, you can’t. You can’t. They’ll kill me, please! «

»That’s not my problem. «, it was fascinating how cold Cas could be. In moment like these, Dean saw the Angel, Cas once used to be. In moment like these, he truly was Castiel, a soldier of Heaven, fallen or not. Mandy hesitated; Dean wasn’t sure if she believed his threat. He, however, did. The knowledge Cas had was incredible and when he said he could banish her, he could.

»You’re bluffing. «, she suddenly said but her voice wasn’t as steady as it had been before. It seemed like she was more trying to convince herself.

»Am I? «, Cas asked and although Dean couldn’t see his face, he knew he was smiling. Smirking a cunning smirk and when he spoke again the words that came out of his mouth were no longer English. The incantation was in Enochian and by now Dean understood enough of the language of the Angels to know that they were not nice words. Mandy began screaming, curling into herself like she was suffering from unbelievable agony but Cas just kept going. Syllable after syllable, word after word, until she was gone, burned out of this world and leaving nothing than a faint smell of wood and forest.

»Hello Dean. «

* * *

It had been 12 months since they had buried John. 12 months since Heaven and Hell had been closed up. 12 months since things were going alright for a change.

Sam and Eileen were in Stanford, about to get married and expecting a child. They were truly done with Hunting and that was good. Dean was relieved that his brother had chosen the apple pie life and was _safe_.

Mary was living with Bobby and Jody, helping Hunters all over the country.

Adam had joined the police and was now a cop in Sioux Falls, doing his best to protect and help the people.

Charlie and Jo had moved to England to join the British Men of Letters and Dean was happy to say that Jo and he had managed to talk things through. They would maybe never be able to go back to how things had been before but they were working on it.

Dean and Cas? They were still Hunting. Still driving from one State to another. Still saving lives.

»Hey Benny. «

_»Brother! Haven’t heard from you in a while. You in the area? «_

»Yeah. Cas ‘n I just wrapped up a case in Salt Lake City, we can make it to Vegas in about 5 hours. «

_»Sounds great! See ya then. «_

»See ya. «

Dean put away the phone and started the Impala. At first, Dean had not been happy to hear about Benny and Meg; it had just seemed wrong. A Vampire and a former Demon; like the beginning of a bad joke, except once he had seen the two together, he could see how good they were with each other. Humanity for Meg had been difficult at first, just as it had been for Cas but somehow Benny had helped her and now they lived in Las Vegas, running a club together; making sure the city stayed clear of any Supernatural disasters. It worked.

* * *

One week later, everyone was coming together in Stanford.

Jo and Charlie had flown in from Great Britain. Mary, Jody and Bobby were there with the kids. Benny and Meg had come with Dean and Cas. Adam had brought his girlfriend Nancy Fitzgerald; Aaron his new boyfriend Cole.

It wasn’t a big wedding but Mary and Jody cried when Eileen was walking down the aisle, looking absolutely drop – dead gorgeous and there was pie instead of a wedding cake.

»Well…you can say what you want but Sammy sure knows how to make a man happy. «, Dean announced around a mouth full of pecan pie. Cas was sitting next to him, chuckling.

»It is nice to see you enjoying yourself. «

»Are you kidding? This is great! We gotta have pie at our wedding, too. «, Dean said and then almost immediately choked on a pecan. Blushing furiously, he tried to dismiss his comment but of course, Cas had other plans.

»Our wedding? «, he asked smugly. »Dean Winchester are you proposing to me? «

»I, er, I mean…«, Dean stammered. »Maybe? I mean…I wanted to do it properly, you know? Had a whole speech prepared and all that but yeah…«, he ended sheepishly, not daring to meet Cas’ eyes. What if he would say no? What if things didn’t work out after all? What if one of them _died_? What if – »Yes. «, Cas’ voice broke through his train of thoughts.

»Sorry? «

»If you asked, my answer would be yes. «, Cas was staring again, looking at him, no, no looking _into_ him, like he could still see Dean’s soul, like he was looking at something precious and Dean couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

_Well I've heard that the devil is walking around_  
_I sold my soul way down in the dirt_  
_But stole it back now forever in debt_  
_And for a moment I don't even care_  
_Until I felt his breath at my neck_  
_And maybe even you can feel it too_  
_He's on a strike and looking at you_  
  
_Holding on to this words but baby_  
_I saw an angel become the devil_  
_Still they walk pretty good hand in hand_  
_But baby I don't need any of them_  
_Heaven nor hell_

(Volbeat - Heaven Nor Hell)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Find me on Tumblr =)](https://dreamworldvictim.tumblr.com/)


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